PLEASE be sure to read the “My Dearest...” letter portion below this article, about why I put quotation marks on the word “Stress”.
For now, let me share what Rick Warren, the author of the must-read book, “The Purpose Driven Life”, says on the above topic. He bases his answers to the above question by how Jesus coped with “Stress”.
The First 4 of the 8 guides of Rick Warren are:
1. Know Who You Are
Unless you know who you are, someone else may try to tell you who THEY think you are. You will then subconsciously let other people manipulate you and pressure you into believing you are somebody you are not.
A lot of “stress” comes from hiding behind masks and being unreal with others.
Insecurity produces pressure, and when we feel insecure, we are forced to conform and perform. We set unrealistic standards for ourselves, and even though we work and work, we cannot meet those unrealistic expectations. Tension and pressure occur.
Know you are a child of God, put on earth for a purpose, with a plan specifically formed for you.... “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11)
2. Know Whom You Are Trying to Please
Know that you can’t please everybody. Even God doesn’t try to please everybody.
If you don’t know who you are trying to please, you will surrender to 3 things:
criticism – concerned about what they think of you
competition – you worry about others getting ahead of you
conflict – you feel threatened when anyone disagrees with you.
Focus on pleasing God, rather on what pleases man. Choose not to allow others dictate on who you should be pleasing. We are not victims unless we allow ourselves to be pressured by other people’s demands.
3. Know What You Are Trying to Accomplish
Know your purpose. Know your goals.
Know your priorities, otherwise you will live by pressures.
Busyness is not necessarily productivity.
Preparation prevents pressure. Procrastination produces it.
Having clear goals simplifies life.
Look at your daily, weekly, and monthly schedules. Is accomplishing them leading you to fulfilling your life purposes and achieving your goals?
4. Focus on One Thing At A Time
I heard Bo Sanchez once say that despite so many things he is doing, he is not a multi-tasker. He focuses on one task at a time!
Rick Warren says the same thing. Apply the principle of concentration.
When we diffuse our efforts, we are ineffective. When we concentrate our efforts, we are more effective.
My Dearest Michael, Children and Grandchildren,
Did you notice the quotation marks I placed on the word “Stress”?
Whenever I am asked to share about Stress Management, I say I never use the phrase, “I am stressed”. Why? I believe that saying so, adds to the pressure one feels. And being “stressed” means having failed to address the stressors on time.
Catch the stressors before they catch you, or end up being “stressed”.
What is a stressor? For me, it is any negative stimulus, which if not recognized and addressed immediately, causes YOU to get “stressed”. I exclude the feeling of physical tiredness which I term Fatigue. For the latter, the answer is rest and sleep.
What should one do when faced with stressors?
I ask myself, “Are they controllable? If uncontrollable, accept them.
If controllable, I treat them as “Challenges”, and try to overcome them with persistence, perseverance and prayers.
Thus, my favorite prayer when stressors are recognized as present in a situation, is the Serenity Prayer:
“Lord, Grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to Change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.”
It is my way of fighting stressors.
And I would like to add the above 4 guides of Rick Warren which are very useful and good reminders for myself.
I also need to work especially hard on No. 4. I need to focus on one task at a time. It is hard for an old dog like me, but hopefully, even old dogs can learn “new” tricks.
Michael, Focus, Act, Pray, Pray, and Pray.