Lim: What is real?

“WHAT is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

Our bodies can be digitally lipo-suctioned, our faces beauty-edited or face-tuned. With one swipe, our blemishes, bulges and bald spots can be banished. We can be whatever we want to be—taller, longer, larger, slimmer, smaller in seconds.

Pictures can be photo-shopped. Profiles can be invented. Our lives can be enhanced, edited and filtered to perfection. We have mastered the art of fake perfection.

In a digital age flooded with false news and fake lives, what is real?

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up or bit by bit?” the Rabbit asked.

It takes a very long time for people to become comfortable in their own skin—to learn to love themselves and to take pride in who they are and what they have become. In our youth, we are highly critical of our imperfections.

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.

“Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

As we age, we realize no one is without flaw. Yet, we are still loved despite our imperfections so we learn to cut others some slack too. We learn that we do not have to be perfect to become the best version of ourselves. Finally, we learn to love despite not because.

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

Love hurts. Love takes a lot of work. But it’s worth it. So we go for it. Bravely. Every time. We dive into the waters, without knowing if we will sink or surface. Because everything real entails risk.

“But once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always,” said the Skin Horse.

The thing about ageing is that there is no Revert button. There is no going back. Only going forward. I’m no longer young, taut and supple. That’s okay. Because now I’m honed, seasoned and aged to perfection. And I say this boldly despite the sag, the flab, the lines and the folds.

What is REAL? Real isn’t how you are made. It’s a thing that happens to you. When someone loves you really well, you become Real.

(Note: All quoted material from “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams Bianco.)

Trending

No stories found.

Just in

No stories found.

Branded Content

No stories found.
SunStar Publishing Inc.
www.sunstar.com.ph