MOST people, apart from fans, may not know him. But we are all undoubtedly familiar with his work and have favorite superheroes amongst the roster of characters he gave life to. Stan Lee, creator of Marvel passed away this week, but his legacy shall certainly live on in many hearts for a long, long time. Dare I say, forever!
One of my fave quotes this master had said is, “I used to be embarrassed because I was just a comic-book writer while other people were building bridges or going on to medical careers. And then I began to realize: entertainment is one of the most important things in people’s lives. Without it they might go off the deep end. I feel that if you’re able to entertain people, you’re doing a good thing.”
As someone who works in the art of writing, his message really hits close to home. Truth be told, the fear of embarrassment/failure is always there, because anyone who dabbles in the arts knows that this field is a huge risk. Not everyone gets lucky to make a lucrative career out of it. The primary question remains—can your passion feed you?
I’ll be the first to admit that I am only able to do what I do because of my husband’s support. It would be hard to sustain my lifestyle without him. Aside from writing, I have an added side hustle of teaching. A few years back, when K to 12 was implemented, I already began to ponder on this topic when one of my students came to me to seek counsel. This kid was in STEM but he wanted so much to be in the Humanities strand because he wanted to write. However, his parents did not allow him to do it.
This meddlesome behavior from parents is nothing new. Even in the college level in Development Communication classes I previously handled, I’ve had students who were allowed to be there as long as they use the major as a pre-law course. They were obligated to move onto law school after.
Why is it, indeed, that most of the world sees that the only respectable and practical choice would be law, medicine, nursing, engineering, and the like? What about the other children whose strengths are on the creative side?
I could tell that my student’s heart was not in the chosen field which was forced upon him. He asked me what I thought, and he stumped me. I didn’t know how to answer him straight away. All I am sure about is this—my students who were pressured by their parents to go into a course they don’t like are unhappy, anxious, and stressed.
This student’s question made me think. I know in my heart that not every person that decides to be a writer or follow an art career makes it into the big league like Stan Lee or JK Rowling. Some people, who are persistent and willing to work hard, can make a decent living out of it. But for majority of writers, especially in the beginning, it is a struggle. Making a mark in this field is certainly hard. It is a difficult path to trek.
However, as a parent myself, I understand where my student’s parents are coming from. I know much of what they’re doing comes from a place of love. All of us want our children to be the best they can be—secure, financially stable, healthy, and happy. In our advanced age, we think we know what’s best. We want our children to be free from pain. We don’t want them to repeat the same mistakes we made in life.
But after seeing quite a number of sad faces in my classroom, I can see that the unsolicited advice we parents give is seen as an imposition. We want a practical approach for their life. Key word here is that it is their life to live.
Now, I understand that parents may have the best of intentions, but we also can’t kill our children’s spirits nor their dreams. We are only here to guide them, and hopefully, they can find a way to merge being practical and their passions, so they can be financially okay, while pursuing what they like to do. Finding a way to monetize their artistic gifts is their challenge.
But the question that I always ask myself personally is this: what kind of parent am I if I do not support my children’s dreams? The only way our children can soar and fly is if we become the wind beneath their wings. If we are the first ones to crush their dreams, what does that say about us?
Most studies show that trying to decide your child's career path can actually be damaging to their self-confidence and development. After all, when you ask a child about his plans, you say: what do you want to be when you grow up and not what do your parents want you to be when you grow up? We can't always make decisions for our kids based on our own personal expectations.
I guess, this is the reason why I admire a man like Stan Lee. He is a shining example and as extraordinary as the characters he created. He is a superhero in his own right because he lived out his passion, and in so doing, he filled the world with the most fantastic, amazing, and uncanny heroes ever. And through these characters, he showed all of us that it is okay to be different. In fact, it is better to embrace our uniqueness because it is this quality that sets us apart from everyone else.
Caption: Goodbye, Mr Lee. (Photo from www.9gag.com)
Caption: Painting on a giant lantern in Shifen. My son had a great time.