IT’S my first new year not being a full-time journalist in my whole adult life, and yes, it feels weird.
First, because I had four full days of no work when I'm used to just having January 1 as holiday. Journalists even work on December 31. But that's in the past now, and four days give you a lot of time to mingle with your thoughts, which included three hours in a mall food court spent eating very slowly and observing the people -- many of whom had Balikbayan relatives with them.
Enter stray thought while watching a tall young lady with very long false eyelashes and short animal print spaghetti strap dress, who is obviously brought up in the land of milk and honey: Why do they like animal prints? I don't particularly like wearing a body-fitting dress that makes me look like I have the skin of a snake...
But, yes, that's a stray thought placed there to remind you that I'm not really the kindest person when I'm scrutinizing the world and myself.
First and lasting thought: It's difficult to find meaning when you are doing work that does not directly touch the lives of the poor.
Everything was easy as a journalist. I had my favorite communities and charities and advocacy groups. I'd mingle with them, follow their stories, bring attention to their plight, and then give some more that I'd rather keep away from public scrutiny. It's not the same when work does not give you that much exposure.
No wonder then that there are more journalists sticking to the job despite the low pay and high-risk work assignments. Job satisfaction is within reach for as long as you work with an open heart. It's more difficult in a corporate work place... especially when corporate social responsibility (CSR) has been glossed over.
Feeling glum, as many New Year's Day becomes, I was scrutinizing what else can be done to bring more meaning into a drab world, and found the answer in myself.
For a lifetime now, I carry on with this conversation with myself, and I get answers. Most of the time, these answer are very sharp retorts, especially when I am wallowing in dark thoughts.
“You only changed jobs, you didn't change yourself,” that other self-barked out inside my head like a mother would bark at us while sweeping the floor early in the morning.
That was the kick I needed to jumpstart the year, and so I'm back, fueled, and raring to go. I may no longer have the work that provides me easy access to reaching out to those I want to reach out to, but I have the time to do so outside work.
For indeed, it doesn't matter what job or vocation you have, the real measure of the self is what you are within.
Happy New Year, indeed!