Stinky business

IMAGINE that you need to go. Badly.

And by that, I mean, you need to release-all-seven-layers-of-hell-from-the-depths-of-your-bowels kind of go.

What do you do?

Do you: a.) Look for the closest establishment and politely ask if it was okay to use their bathroom (or try to stealthily slip into their bathroom), or b.) Find a public space and just openly unleash the kraken.

On long distance trips, it’s not uncommon for us to stop by a gasoline station for a bathroom break. When you gotta go, you gotta go—no shame there. Once, my friends and I were on a long-distance trip down south and needed to pee. No gasoline station or restaurant was in sight. We had to randomly knock on someone’s door and ask if it was okay to use their bathroom. We shared our morning snacks with them in return.

Manila Bay has been getting a lot of attention lately with renewed efforts of keeping it clean. Volunteers have been working around the clock to clean up the bay, and agencies have been keeping an eye on establishments that have been dumping their waste into the bay (I hope they close them all up!). It’s not the first time that the bay got cleaned up—past clean-up efforts also produced cleaner shorelines. However, this time around with hopefully stricter lockdowns on erring establishments, we’re on the right path.

Well, unless, people release their kraken into the bay too.

Online posts report that there are still individuals who like to head into the bay and do their business there. This comes much to the dismay of the public who work hard to keep the bay clean. While open defecation still remains to be a concern in the country, it is quite startling how “openly” the act is done.

Even though you gotta go, you do not necessarily have to do your business right here, where you stand. Sanitation, people!

While I was on my way to work, I spotted a child pooping openly by a green patch in Mandaue. Once he was done, he stood up, and walked away. That’s a bit worrying.

The Department of Health works hard in trying to achieve its Zero Open Defecation (ZOD) targets. The “Goodbye, Dumi! Hello, Healthy!” is a project of the Center for Health Solutions and Innovations Philippines Inc. in partnership with United Nations Children’s Fund (Unicef) and the DOH. The program brings sanitary toilets and teaches right sanity behaviors to communities.

So, while we gotta do our business at some point, we got to be mindful where we release the kraken. Plan your toilet trips, look for restrooms, and don’t forget your tissue rolls. Don’t do it in public, spare the bay.

And, yes, White Flower and haplas totally saves the day.

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