DEATH, once more, brings our family together.
It hasn’t even been three months since my mother passed but we have lost two more members of the family. We lost my cousin’s wife two weeks ago and then a week later, we lost my uncle, my father’s youngest brother.
So once more, the family comes together. A second cousin remarked last week, “Ah, so we see each other again.” And I reply, “Yes, but I wish it were under happier circumstances.”
“We should simply be happy every time we see each other,” he tells me.
That night, I thought about what my cousin said and I realize that he is right.
Whatever circumstances bring the family together—happy or sad, we should just endeavor to find joy in our convergence.
It’s true what they say. When someone is in pain, simply being there for them is enough. No words are necessary. Because when love is there, it shows.
When family members surround and support you through the most trying and tragic times of your life—it’s an occasion for joy because not everyone can find that kind of love.
Death is part of life. And if we believe in God and the after-life, then, we should recognize that death does not signify the end but the beginning of another life.
Only those who no longer breathe feel no pain or encounter no problems, my father likes to tell me. While we live and breathe—pain, heartbreak and grief are inevitable.
The secret to finding joy is to accept that pain is part of life—that it is okay not to be okay all the time, that it is perfectly fine to be sad, to be upset, to be under some degree of stress.
Grief is not bad. How can it be when it is the price of love?
My parents conditioned me since childhood to believe that suffering and sacrifice are part of life. They drummed into my head the reality that hardship is and will always be a part of life—that obstacles exist not to hinder but to nurture growth.
How lucky I am, don’t you think?
The family comes together once more to mourn the passing of two more family members. But life is too short to spend mourning. So we will remember the good times, the wonderful times, the great times, instead. We will take our time. But we will not mourn forever.
When I was a child, the entire clan would converge in our house every Sunday. You can imagine what a riot it was with all the kids. But when I look back, I smile.
How lucky I am to have had all that—my cousins, uncles and aunties all together with us every Sunday because of their love for my grandfather. We are the family that we are today because of those times we spent together. And that is something to celebrate every day—for the rest of our lives.
Death, once more, brings our family together. But so does life, every day. So with faith and forbearance, I know, together, we will prevail.