CONGRATULATIONS, Class of 2019!
Welcome to the world where mostly wish they were students again so their only job would just be to study and get good grades while getting an allowance.
Seriously though, after graduation, hopes are definitely high and the excitement of a new chapter rages.
Then as the days go on and the pressures of getting a good job, choosing a significant career path, or being able to pay the bills start to build, no lessons from the classroom seem enough to prepare you from all the harsh reality of being released to the world outside the campus.
Things you thought you had pegged in school, you start to discover are not done in the same way at work. Surprises are at every corner, unpredictable behaviors prevail, and frustrations are a normal occurrence. You’re no longer dealing with your peers or people just within your generation, and you have to adjust, survive, or quit.
Those who successfully navigated this transition from school to real life have learned to embody values that go beyond the four corners of a classroom.
Using the following list from psychologytoday.com, author Jena E. Pincott, in her article “Lessons you won’t learn in school,” you may find that, hey, the adult way of living is not so bad after all. (Note that the comments after each list and are enclosed in parentheses are my own personal inputs and not part of the original article.)
1. Understanding that not everything that happens to you is about you.
(Tame that ego. Most of the time, no one’s out to get you, talking about you, or thinking of you. Reality is, other people’s spotlights are shone on themselves most of the time. This holds true for their words and actions, they reflect others’ character more than yours.)
2. Focusing on other people without dwelling on how they view you.
(You can be aware of other people’s needs and wants without getting depressed wondering if they like you or not. Reality is, people like us at some point, then they don’t, then they can like you again. Make sure at the end of the day, you like you because you know you did good.)
3. Realizing that you don’t have to act the way you feel.
(Feelings are valid, sure. But they don’t have to be our master. Reality is, feelings are so changeable, inconsistent, and unpredictable. Heck, your feelings can even depend on how many cups of coffee you take! You are more than your feelings!)
4. Being able to reframe (and manage) disappointment and adversity.
(Anger and fear may be uncomfortable just as being hurt, betrayed, or frustrated can be painful. But we can use them to learn, embrace them to toughen up, and let them train our brains for critical thinking and sharper receptiveness. Reality is, adversities are the greatest foundation for strength if we don’t let them crush us.)
5. Knowing how to solicit honest feedback.
(We have blind sides and admit it or not, we need TRUSTWORTHY people who can watch our back and maybe give us a good slap when we’re bent on ruining our lives. Reality is, we must love ourselves enough to seek the people who can be strong and kind enough to give us constructive feedback.)
6. Staying true to your own values despite what others expect of you.
(So many excellent people have fallen in the traps set by a materialistic world that they have gagged and placed their conscience in an isolation chamber. Reality is, yes, you need to be a team player but make sure it’s the kind of game you’d bet your very self on.)
7. Being open to new information or revised thinking.
(We make mistakes and presumptions especially when we lack all the information needed. But refusing to change your mind or your decision when the bigger picture reveals itself, is plain stubbornness. Reality is, we grow when we’re constantly updating our mental maps and become open to weighing in on new data.)
8. Mastering a fail-safe way to motivate yourself, one that works when interest flags.
(Self-motivation is a mindful way of being aware of your strengths and celebrating your little triumphs even when there’s nobody else to acknowledge them. Learn the best and healthiest ways you can feel good about yourself. Reality is, when you know how to become your own best friend, no one and nothing can put you down for long.)
9. Zoning in on your purpose in a zoned-out world.
(In the midst of social media and constant barrage of information, taking the time out to unplug and just be with nature can offer great clarity. Reality is, our brains are craving for rest because we are addicted to over-thinking. Give time and space for complete silence in your own no-entertainment, no-thinking, no-doing zone.)
10. Tolerating ambiguity.
(List down all the things you’re thinking about, all the things you’re so worried about or concerned with, and all you’re afraid of. Which ones are really worth getting a cancer over? Reality is, there are so many things we can’t control, we can’t make sure of, or have closure with. This is when you grab a firm hold on your faith and do your best with what you’ve been given.)