I DELIBERATELY refrained from writing about grief last, last Sunday (and I forgot to send my article last Sunday). I figured two consecutive Sundays was enough talk about it. We do have our own sad stories to tell and it would be too indulgent for me to engage you with more weepy tales of love and loss.
It has been a little over a month since my sister’s passing and I am much better though I am pretty much still grieving. I feel somewhat like a semi-recluse, having withdrawn from my usual activities and people.
I have been doing things by my lonesome, making no real effort to reconnect with my world at once. You can say that most days, I have preferred to dwell in my sadness and tears, which I think is normal and all good. After all, we have the right to grieve as we see fit, correct? So the past few weeks I swear I have been walking like an absent minded semi-zombie with puffy, weepy eyes and silvery green ha.
I realized that it’s exhausting to be constantly on auto-weeper mode. It is draining physically, mentally and emotionally. I wished, on many occasions, to be numb from the pain and/or be stricken with temporary amnesia. But it is what it is--a long process towards healing. That’s how it is when you love someone and you lose them. Sad, but true.
I went away for a week so I could breathe and hopefully find some way to regain normalcy in my life I needed to rest from the difficulties of accepting the fact that my sister is gone. I chose to allow myself to actively seek out ways to make myself feel better. You can say that I am moving forward. It would have been what my sister wanted, too.
Moving forward would be the most apt thing to do for anyone who is suffering from loss. It allows you to heal and accept things at your own pace. You are allowed to feel sad and be happy in no particular order.
I think it is much better than simply moving on, don’t you think?
Somehow, “move on na” feels forced, like you have to get over it without going through the natural process.
We should move forward. The pace may vary the tears and laughter experience alternately or simultaneously. We can choose to acknowledge the bad, hurting bits and learn from it while holding to the good, heartwarming memories that will last a lifetime. I think that’s the best way to deal with it. Right?
Move forward.
Have a happy Sunday everyone!