Seares: Penis talk drowns out questions on alleged wealth rise, drug link

News Sense

DOCTORS tell us that some men are obsessed about the small size of their penis. They call this psychological state “penis-focused body dysmorphic disorder.” Do they already have a name for excessive pride in one’s big penis?

(I just wrote “penis” three times in a three-sentence paragraph. Thanks, Mr. President.)

Critics are accusing President Duterte and some family members of unexplained wealth and being linked to illegal drugs. But nobody has said about his being undersized down there. Unlike U.S. President Trump during the campaign, Duterte didn’t have to say, defensively, “I guarantee you there’s no problem there.”

It was self-serving, but Duterte did say he was “well-equipped” when he talked about character, good looks and the penis during a campaign rally Thursday (April 4) in Puerto Princesa, Palawan. And as a lawyer would, he showed no fear of contradiction.

Probably the penis thing was one of his gags, as Palace communicators might later explain. It was after all a get-the-vote rally and the compulsion to entertain was stronger. At least, Duterte didn’t pull his penis out before reporters, as U.S. president Lyndon B. Johnson (1961-1963) reportedly did when asked why America was in Vietnam.

Issues warded off

Limply exaggerated or stiffly serious, the segment about presidential genitalia drew out laughter and pushed aside a more important issue of national interest, namely: How true are accusations of unexplained wealth and drug ties? At least three Duterte siblings are running for public office, and the President and his daughter are pushing candidates for Congress who can help Mayor Sara or Bong Go, who is forecast to win a Senate seat, succeed him as president in 2022.

Instead of asking and assessing the series of “expose” videos (anonymous) and the article (by PCIJ or Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism) on increase of presidential wealth and ties in the drug trade, people ponder on the ding of the President’s dong.

Not measured

Duterte didn’t give numbers, which would’ve enabled presidential watchers to make comparisons. How long is his, alongside the national average of 4.3 inches (110th worldwide, according to University of Ulster-Northern Ireland study)?

Dorm mates at Manila YMCA, he said, gaped at his sex organ, swinging as he walked nude on the dormitory hall. No stats on his and his co-residents’ endowment. But he gave some idea when he told his audience “its head would almost reach” his belly button.

Some puzzlers

There are a few interesting puzzlers in his tale:

* He said a man is measured by his character, after calling Otso Diretso bet for senator Chel Diokno “ugly,” and then said “a man’s good looks won’t matter if he has a small penis.” So penis size throws out character and good looks?

* He thanked his father for his “huge penis” and yet would’ve cursed God if he had a small one, “Son-of-a-bi**h, is this all you have given me?” and would’ve cut it off in front of an altar. In effect, God was to blame but not to credit for penis size.

* He talked of the strength and vigor of his penis when he was young, graphically demonstrating it in words (“it almost looked up to the sky,”) and movement (he adjusted the mic “to point it all the way to the ceiling”).

* He said the women ran away, saying, “We don’t like him, that skinny guy. He won’t stop (having sex).” That meant surfeit of vigor, but the reference to women’s fear also suggested fear of hugeness. Psychologists say a number of women worry over injury and pain.

Master at work

Was the dick-beating a declaration of virility and power, which psychologists say it amounts to? A musing of an older man? Four years ago, in January 2015, he said he couldn’t imagine a world without Viagra and in April 2016 he talked dirty with business leaders. He lamented to them: “I was separated from my wife. I’m not impotent. What am I supposed to do? Let this hang forever?”

Or was his recent on-stage segment--called by one international news site “more bizarre” than any of his previous sallies into entertainment--a calculated move to ward off important issues and sell his senator-wannabes?

Duterte is a master entertainer, with his penis talk displaying the prowess “reaching up to sky and touching the belly button.” Who was it who said about the big brain in the head and the small brain between the legs? Both presidential assets seem to be handled deftly and working fine.


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