M: Liza wrote that she failed in a major subject. It will delay her for a semester. Her father is a farmer in the province while her mother is a house helper. How will she break the news to them? First, check with the school if she can directly talk with her professor if there is a way she can earn extra credits or do additional school work to pass her major subject. Maybe that can give her an idea if she really flunked or if there is a chance that her grade can be reconsidered. The important thing is to be honest with her parents once she knows the situation.
DJ: It’s a challenging situation for Liza. What’s good is she’s coming forward and is seeking help instead of just keeping everything bottled up within her. By deciding to manage it instead of being managed by it, she is on her way of moving herself forward from such situation. How is she coming to terms with her situation? Anything outside her—the professor, her classmates—are beyond her control. But owning up the concern and her part of the situation will make her more in control of the solution.
M: If Liza is concerned about the additional expenses that her parents will incur, she can ask her school if it can allow her to be a working student during the summer or during the semester when she will retake her major subject. She can also think of options of helping her parents shoulder the cost of her schooling. While her parents will most likely be disappointed, it will not mean that she has failed them. If she tried her best, concentrated on her schooling and yet still did not pass, it is not the end of the world.
DJ: This is Liza’s journey, so I suggest that she think about these possible choices and other solutions she can think of. She can consult a trusted teacher or someone who she thinks is wise. It’s helpful if she comes up with a list of possibilities first before even deciding which ones to take. Is the likelihood of being delayed for a semester already final? Is the course offered this summer? Is a cross-enrolment to another school an option? Which among her choices will fix her situation long-term? The option to find work to help her parents with her education is an example of a long-term fix. Having a clear set of options will make her feel more empowered.
M: I understand that Liza feels guilty that her parents’ hard work and sacrifice will be for naught if she will extend for another semester. But there are opportunities to ask other people for help who might just be more than willing to give assistance. The important thing is not to give up.
DJ: Liza needs to keep her faith in herself and in her ability to manage this concern. I’m sure she’s had past victories and this too shall pass. Taking our suggestions and how best she knows her parents, she can try using this format to break the news to them: “Pa/Ma, I failed in X. Looking back, I think it’s because I did not Y. Thus, this summer I plan to Z.” They aren’t likely to be happy about the failed subject but they have her best interest at heart. They will be her strongest support as she moves herself forward. She can start with a parent she’s closest to and take it from there. Once her parents see that she’s owning up to the situation and is in control of what she needs to do to get back on track, chances are they’ll even be there to support her through.