THE unwanted criticism of parenting choices is called mom-shaming. It usually comes in a form of comparison with other kids, direct and indirect insult, and humiliation.
Among the issues thrown against moms include discipline, child’s late development, and child’s weight.
They would correct you with how you discipline your child like screen time, eating habit, sleep routine, etc.
They would criticize your child’s delayed milestones such as teething, walking, and talking. Worse, they would compare your child to other kids.
Relax. I know how heartbreaking it is, but there are ways on how to deal with them.
1. Understand that criticizing and judging make some people feel better. They are naturally tactless and insensitive. If they can’t admit it, just give them the consideration they deserve.
2. Learn to differentiate the concerned (those who want to feel involved), the know-it-all (those who think they are always right), and the ignorant (those who have no idea of anything.)
3. Educate them with facts. For example, if they keep insisting that your child is thin and not gaining weight. Check on your child using the official weight chart from DOH and WHO. If it is just appropriate with his/her age, educate your “bashers” as well. Remember, being fat is not an indication of being healthy. If they would still insist, go back to tip number one.
4. If there’s really something wrong, acknowledge and accept our mistakes. No one is perfect. There is no such thing as perfect parenting. But you can always improve for the better by following their pieces of advice.
5. Your child, your rules. The society is rude, but you don’t have to deal with their prejudice. You know your child better than anyone else.
But as we all know, we can also be the culprit or the mom-shamers especially when confronted with situations that need some advice. Let us also take note of these points:
1. Be tactful, not tactless. Give constructive criticism and avoid the destructive ones.
2. Be mindful. We don’t know everything. To each his own.
3. Train our mind to see the good in everything. Let’s not be judgmental.
Hold on, mommies! Just think that criticisms will help us become more effective parents.
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[The writer appreciates comments, questions, and story suggestions. Contact her through ara3casas@yahoo.com, @mommyaracasastumuran on Instagram, and subscribe to her YouTube channel www.youtube.com/c/AraCasasTumuran.]