Monday, July 22, 2019

Alvarez: Getting over a love lost

(Contributed photo)


I BELIEVE that once in our lives we find someone who can complete us. But though we have finally found them, great love is like wine, it either tastes good or they don’t. Some even said it is physics needing time and space. I guess these are circumstances that break relationships but then sometimes even if it fails, the love remains.

Not all great love stays as there are so many factors outside people’s control. I bet some of you reading this are married to people they love but not their great love. Oh, years may have passed, but still, they can remember that lost great love. The truth is great love leaves a memory no one can steal, leaving footprints in someone’s heart. Let me share to you how a married person can lessen the memories of a past great love.

1. Never compare your spouse to your past relationships.

Allow your marriage to thrive, do not ever compare your past love story to the present. Appreciate your spouse’s efforts to make you happy. Remember that they cannot be exactly the same person. Think that your relationship already had ended – you already have a life and it would not be fair for your spouse to feel that you have not moved on. Most would say that if you love two people at the same time, choose the second because if the first really loves you, he or she will take the chance of coming back to you.

2. Stop stalking your ex-boyfriend or girlfriends online.

Life is too short to waste your time stalking a person who has not even valued you in the past. He or she might be your great love. But did he or she consider you to be their great love? Do not play this game. This is like a self-imposed death because the moment you see his or her photos and know his or her whereabouts, it will bring you back to those old memories that stab your heart to death.

3. Focus on your children.

It is easier and joyful to be busy raising your kids right than figuring out what went wrong to your great love. Remember that your children would not love to hear your stories about your ex. And they would also hate you knowing you still think about someone when you are committed to their father (or mother) for life.

4. Accept that your great love has ended.

Your spouse is a gift from God. It is not easy to totally forget somebody who has once been our world. This would take a lot of pain, cries, and time. But at least you have to unlearn wishing that he or she should have been your spouse now. Very simple – give a little respect to your sincere spouse. Your children don’t deserve this.


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