Right now, you’re probably at home reading the newspaper or watching Netflix or stalking me on Facebook (if I even have one yet). Maybe you’re waiting for a message from me—updating you on where I am, how I am, what I am doing, or what time I would like to be picked up.
I want you to know that I am sorry. I’m sorry I haven’t messaged you yet. I’m sorry for making you worry, or wonder, or think about me too much. I know I’m not the most patient person. I snap at you sometimes or roll my eyes when I think you’re invading my personal space with too many nagging questions. I make a face or stomp away when you ask me to do what I think are too many favors. I’m sorry if I’m impatient or testing your patience.
The truth is, I am stubborn and prideful. I want to be willful and independent—but I find myself relying too much on you. I have to train myself to function on my own, and prepare myself—in case I have to ever live a day without you.
And yet... Although I’m all grown up or bigger than I was yesterday, I am and always will be your child. At the end of the day when life gets tough, I will always look for you. Yours will be the name I call out when I am afraid, or hurt, or fail, or feel sad. You, my home for the first nine months of my life, will always be my home.
Thank you for waking me up for school, sending me off to work, and looking for me when I’m not home. Thank you for scolding me when I’m being foolish or unkind, teaching me to be compassionate, and urging me to be honest. Thank you for dreaming of a good life for me and pushing me to be the best version of myself.
Though life can get in the way and distract me a little, please know that my heart will always be with you.
And if you’re still alive and reading this, I want you to know that I don’t want to wait until you are gone for me to be able to tell you how much I love you.
I will never stop loving you—my nurturer, my teacher, my protector, my life. You, who have given me everything, will always be everything to me.
Happy Mother’s Day!