BY the time this column drops, it will be Mother’s Day. For the uninitiated, Mother’s Day is the only day of the year when we take a break from our never-ending battles and bickering with our mother hens and post all over social media about how much we love and appreciate them. And then it’s business as usual the next day. (I’m just kidding, of course.)
I consider myself blessed to have a good relationship (working and otherwise) with my mom. As I’ve stated here previously, it’s that stubbornness I’ve inherited from her that causes us to butt heads sometimes and to put our heads together at other times to solve difficult problems. And I consider myself fortunate to have a matriarch who puts our needs above hers 10 times out of 10. However, there’s an aspect to parenting that often doesn’t get discussed—that gets lost in the platitudes and mushy, feel-good statements of gratitude. And that’s the challenge to be better.
For example, health and fitness was not a big thing back in my parents’ days. How could it be? They had to eat what was served because it was all they had. They were too busy trying to make a living to be concerned with counting their macros or looking at their fasting/feeding window. And they did it so that we could have a more comfortable life compared to theirs. Being better, for me, means that, since I am more equipped to make better food choices, I must do so and also educate my parents about it so their quality of life is also improved. It is, as the good book says, taking the talents your master has given you and multiplying it tenfold when he/she asks for it back.
And I can think of no better example than my mom. Hers was always to challenge us to surpass our perceived barriers—to “over-deliver” on what society expects from us—and yet balance it out by not losing our souls. It’s a tough tightrope act that my mom and dad try to do as a unit: my mom grabbing my hand to lead me forward with my dad at the back, quietly steadying me so that I don’t fall flat on my butt (and giving me a good smack if I need it).
I do not delude myself to think that every day I am becoming better; some days feel like I’ve taken three steps backward or am just stuck in quicksand, unable to move. But the pursuit to be better has been ingrained by my mother. How could it not? Her constant sacrifices are constantly in my mind and push me to secure my place under the sun, no matter how long that takes.
This reminder also comes a day before elections. We need to do our parts as dutiful citizens, even if it seems our efforts are in vain sometimes.
So be better—go further or blaze your own trail in this life.