TRUST and loyalty; effort and dedication. When it comes to relationships, we have our own lists, filled with the preceding characteristics and probably many more expectations that we desire in a partner. Without a doubt, we should set high standards for that special person, but what I’m proposing is that we should set even higher standards for ourselves.
If you ask any good parent, or grandparent, who they would want their children to date, you might hear a lot of the aforementioned traits, namely someone with respect and honor—a person who is driven and has a plan—someone with integrity. A good parent is an excellent example of selflessness, which is regrettably, something people do not commonly exhibit nowadays. To want only the best for a person, regardless of one’s intentions or personal desires, is an even purer sentiment than “to love and be loved in return.”
I know that love ought to be reciprocal, and “real love” often is, but that is not necessarily a requirement for its existence. To sincerely care for someone requires a certain passion for that person’s well-being and for their future. And as simply as it can be defined, the passion of any long-term commitment is essentially sacrifice with sincerity inherent to its very being.
For me, the most significant step and decision we can make is to thoughtfully appraise our own value. To assess how we truly see ourselves, and then take steps to add to that value and to remove things or people that detract from it.
There are innumerable ways we can invest in our lives. We can stop eating junk food, we can stop backbiting others, or cut off a certain long-time friend or group of friends who are bad influences. Any of the preceding ideas could certainly be a good strategy and I certainly believe that anyone who isn’t making you a better person is predictably doing the opposite. Instead of filling up your lifeboat, they leak its cargo—stability, security and happiness vanishing overboard with each storm.
No matter how “perfect” a person may seem, no matter how “right” and or “ideal” he or she may be for you, your significant other can only provide as much love as you are willing and capable of receiving. If you can’t seal the hole in a leaky bucket, you can never expect it to be full. How unfair it is to expect someone else to fill and maintain such a state. Although we should pour happiness, dedication and love into those we care about, it is also our job to ensure that their contents will have proper residence and a safe home.