Palmares & Moises: Lovely but loveless?


MICHELLE: Maricris was a beauty queen. She was a banker and is now doing exceedingly well as a financial advisor. Now that’s she’s in her mid-30s, well-traveled and is on top of her game, she’s beginning to long for someone to share her success with. After putting up that strong, independent woman facade for years, she now fears that she is not going to make the “last trip.”

DJ: It appears to me that she’s living a savvy single life. I’m sorry if I’ll burst her bubble but while a lot of tips can be found on the worldwide web, they don’t cover all the nuts and bolts of dating and relationships. So what will she do now? She can start by not taking finding a date too seriously. It may be normal to contemplate on her own pulchritude. But for the guys she’ll likely take seriously, looking neat comes first than looking hot. Sure, grooming and clothing helps but pleasantness actually ranks higher. If she’s friendly, confident and happy, she’s already more attractive than she probably gives herself credit for.

M: The fear of ending up alone is a real one. One can have all the financial resources but even money cannot buy love, good health and time. While it is good to love our work, it is well to remember that life is not meant to be lived with just a singular focus on one thing to exclude many other possibilities and opportunities. Balance is important. At the end of the day, there will always be work to be done, things to accomplish and errands to finish. But there are also hugs to be made to aging parents who miss our company, kisses to little children whose eyes brighten when we spend time with them, and laugh out loud conversations with good friends over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.

DJ: Maricris is well-traveled. And if she’s outgoing too, she’s got tons of opportunities to be with men. One thing I can suggest is for her to know the difference between girl talk and guy talk, particularly if it’s the first time that she’s conversing with a guy. She may be all excited about this new hair color or makeup but she can reserve the blow-by-blow details to her girlfriends. She’s also well accomplished. No need to highlight it in big, bold, capital letters. A busy quest for validation doesn’t necessarily bring it. Allowing others to see more of our authentic side puts people at ease. It helps if the focus is not always on herself but to getting to know the other person more. Ask questions. Listen to the answer. Find a connection but don’t fake it. Depending on the guy but it usually works if we go out with someone who is comfortable even in silence. It speaks volumes about how secure she is about herself.

M: Maricris, don’t fear about not making the “last trip.” Just because you are not in a romantic relationship does not mean that you are last in love. But now that you realize that it is not just your career that makes you happy and that there is something missing in your life, make an effort to love and be loving. A network formed at work can be a good springboard for better friendships and maybe even a romantic relationship. Care instead of career. Have fun! Enjoy life. Live. Love. Laugh!

DJ: For anyone to be attractive to others, she must be highly attractive to herself. I don’t mean one needs to be narcissistic. But it is important for someone like Maricris to cultivate a loving relationship with herself. By embracing all that she is, she’s also inspiring others to embrace all of her too. At the end of the day, her relationship status should not define her. Single or in-a-relationship, she is she... complete, special, beautiful.


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