Self-love languages


THERE are articles here and there telling us how we must show our love to our loved ones, family or lovers. There are suggestions on the gifts and surprises we might be able to do depending on the preference and the favorites of our loved ones.

In 1992, Gary Chapman came up with the book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate”. In this book, Chapman disclosed the five different ways to express and experience love: (1) receiving gifts, (2) quality time, (3) words of affirmation, (4) acts of service, and (5) physical touch. He suggested in his book that in order to properly and best express love to your partner, you must know the love language that they speak and communicate through that.

Sociologists, marriage and relationship counselors, and even therapists use this scale to help people who are having problems with their relationships.

But we fail to realize that these love languages can also be very beneficial to us if we use it to express love for ourselves. No, this is not sad. You can either be single or be in a relationship and yet self-love and self-care would still be very essential. The first thing you need to know is what love language do you speak. There are free online tests you can try to know. But you can also gauge it on your own. Which gestures do you feel the most loved? What acts of love do you consider perfect for you?

Here are only some suggestions you can do to show self-love and self-care. Because nowadays, no one can love you the same way you love yourself.

Receiving gifts

1. Buy yourself beauty products or skin care products. But remember to do this in moderation. You can do this as a reward to yourself for a job well done at work or in school.

2. Invest in yourself. Gifts do not always need to be tangible. Putting your savings to an investment plan for your travel goals, future plans, or even retirement could be one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

3. Buy that shoes you had your eyes on since forever. If you know you’re doing your best in school, in work, or in whatever you do, you deserve a treat. You deserve something comfortable and nice for yourself.

Quality time

1. Did you want to watch The Dark Phoenix movie alone but afraid people might see you as the sad single person in the theatre? To heck with their opinions. Go to the movies alone if that’s what makes you happy. You don’t need to please other people.

2. Finish that book you have always been putting away. Perhaps for the past few days you had been busy with work. This coming weekend may be the best opportunity for you to schedule a reading date with yourself. Heat up some tea or coffee. Relax.

3. You might also want to consider taking yourself to work-outs, yoga sessions or even a morning jog. This time alone with your self will be essential to hearing your heartbeats and your breathing. It can also help clear your mind off some things.

Words of affirmation

1. This may sound weird but this actually works. As you are preparing in the morning, talk to yourself in the mirror. Tell yourself positive and loving words.

2. If you are a music lover, listening to inspirational songs and inspirational podcasts may also help you be motivated each day. It also won’t hurt to read a few self-help books if you are fond of that.

Acts of service

1. Take yourself to your monthly schedule of facial cleansing, waxing, threading, or other things you deem necessary for your welfare.

2. Each week or depending on your preferred scheduled, do a general cleaning of your room. Segregate the clothes you would need and those you would like to give out. Clear some space in your wardrobe or your shelves.

3. Pay your bills and other financial liabilities (including your credit cards) on time. If you’re someone whose love language is Acts of Service, nothing beats an accomplished day as a form of self-love.

Physical touch

1. Take yourself to a spa or a massage date. Make it a whole body massage after a very tiring week. That will be a very good favor for yourself.

2. Wash your favorite snuggly blanket, put in ample amount of fabric conditioner and spin-dry. You will sure to have a good night sleep under it that night.

Self-love and self-care should always be put first before your love for a lover. After all, you can’t give what you don’t have.


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