WE DON’T debate because we’re different. We debate because we’re alike. We are both combative and controlling.
We have quick tempers but we have soft hearts. We have strong opinions and we don’t pull any punches. We like to do things right—right now. Not some other way—some other day. We both believe that what we can do today, we should have done yesterday.
We worship productivity. And while in modern times, this practice has been largely vilified, such religiosity has made us extremely hard-working. Others call us obsessive. We prefer to call ourselves dedicated.
We are self-driven. Putting our mind to work, solving a problem, getting something done gives us unparalleled fulfillment. And that is both our motivation and reward.
We thrive in a hive—in a hive of activity. Doing nothing kills us. Our waking hours are spent thinking, planning, preparing, worrying, anticipating, forecasting. Even in slumber, the overthinking continues. Perhaps, that’s way we dream spectacularly too.
I have to say this, Pa, but I obviously get my anxiety from you. Even in retirement, you never stop overthinking everything. And you never let up—pushing us to do more, to do better, to work harder. Every single day.
Cancer is no excuse to be slacking. Or relaxing. The world owes you no favors. I get the message, loud and clear.
At 94, you’re still tough as nails. You accept no excuses. I thought boot camp had packed up. I was wrong. But you know something? You are right. You are right in giving me such a tough time. Sometimes, I truly feel like dying but I’ve learned that what doesn’t kill you will truly only make you stronger.
I’m so used to fighting you with every ounce of my strength that when you don’t fight back, I’m confused. And when you agree with me, I’m not sure whether I should feel elated or worried.
But I want you to know that you were right—on so many things. You were right in never retiring, in never giving up, in never slacking, in never ceasing to play devil’s advocate because had you done so, you would have lost the capacity to so happily remind me of so many things that slip my mind these days.
Sometimes, I truly think your memory is better than mine. And I’m not sure whether I should feel good or bad about that.
But I want you to retain that brilliant mind of yours even if that means more debates to come. Your will to live, to heal and to overcome any setback not only inspires me, it grounds me too. I have no excuse to do anything less.
So stay you. Truth to tell, it’s hard to live with you. But I’m sure it’s no picnic living with me too. We don’t debate because we’re different. We debate because we’re alike. We are both stubborn and strong-minded.
But I love you just the way you are, Pa. Because, well, this is self-love too. Happy Father’s Day!