ALLOW me to share with you the life of my late elder sister Manang Bem as I honor her love for me and for my family.
At age six, Manang Bem was diagnosed to have a rheumatic heart disease. Since then, the hospital had been her second home, yet it never took the smile in her face.
Manang Bem was very determined to live a normal life. Even with her absences in school, she always managed to be an honor student. She never made her illness an excuse to escape her responsibilities as the big sister to her five siblings.
Teenage years were not good to her. It was when her illness got in the way of her fight for normalcy. Her doctors told her she only had a couple of years left. She had to stop schooling and had to take roughly a dozen of tablets a day. I even get to see her pound her medicines just so she can swallow them.
Yet, in her weakness, I saw tremendous strength. Manang Bem was even more determined to fight her share of normalcy. Her sickness made her closer to God.
On weekdays, she reads books and corresponds with a lot of friends and institutions. On weekends, she gathers the kids in our neighborhood, tells them Bible stories and teaches them catechism. She was living her life to the full.
Manang Bem had lots of suitors, too. At the start, my parents kind of discouraged her to be in a relationship because she might not be able to handle emotional pressures and breakups, but she was quite stubborn and had her shares of sweet nothings and brokenness.
Manang was born smart. Even if she only had two months of high school, it did not stop her from pursuing her dreams. She took a placement test from the Department of Education, which accelerated her directly to college. She was even quiet ambitious to have taken BS accountancy at Xavier University.
She got in, of course, and even managed to be in the dean’s list with little effort. But this time, her health could not catch up with her spirit.
In the mid of the second semester in her sophomore year, she was hospitalized. She had to stop her studies for good.
When a door closes, a bigger window opens. Manang Bem met her true love Alvin, a very humble businessman. In spite of her health condition, Alvin was still so willing to marry her. At the start, she was hesitant of the idea knowing what was at stake, but with much convincing from him, she finally gave herself the chance to love and be loved in marriage.
Our family witnessed the unconditional love Alvin gave to our Manang Bem. During her bad days, Alvin would drop everything in a heartbeat just to be at her side. In her better days, Alvin had to work double or triple his usual effort knowing her bad days would come anytime and the prices of her medicines were always going up. Alvin was the best thing that happened to her.
In August 2006, I was asked to come home to Cagayan de Oro for an emergency. From the port, my brother brought me straight to Provincial Hospital. Our family hadn’t had the slightest clue that Manang was a couple of months pregnant.
That night, Manang Bem and her baby boy did not make it. I would like to believe that that was her last fight for normalcy.
Manang Bem’s life was a life of courage and love. Her illness made our family stronger and more loving. In her weakness, we saw strength. She is dearly missed.*