"In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity." -- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
I WAS bullied for six years, both online and in real life, by someone who cried "mental health" whenever she got called out for it. I was being bullied, but I couldn't defend myself because my bully claims to be depressed and suicidal. Thus, in many occasions, I felt my feelings being invalidated. Everyone's attention centered on my bully's seemingly fragile mental state.
I remember reading tweets and Facebook posts about me in 2013 that were written by someone I rarely saw, much less talked to. She tweeted that I had bipolar disorder and that I was bullying her. She also tried to turn my own friends against me. I later learned "chronic liar" and "sabik sa lalaki" (nymphomaniac) were among the things that she said about me. It was pure absurdity.
She bullied me not because she was depressed, but because she was jealous. It was idolatry masked with hate. Clearly, it was also a cry for attention.
"She must be my number one fan," I said to my mom once, noting that not one word I say nor one thing I do escapes my bully's eyes.
Like many others, I've battled depression too. It doesn't make you unaware of your actions, nor does it rob you of your conscience. Depression is never an excuse to destroy someone's reputation. Repeatedly. Through the years.
When I confronted her, she broke down and asked for my comfort, citing mental illness and suicidal ideation. But befriending her didn't make her stop spreading lies about me. She lived in a world of her own that not even my friendship and forgiveness can penetrate.
When you come across a similar situation, don't blame yourself. Educate yourself. Here are signs of attention-seeking behavior:
1) Projection -- A defense mechanism wherein individuals attribute characteristics they find unacceptable in themselves to another person. What you say about other people may be characteristics you find in yourself.
2) Manipulation -- Changing people's perception through deceptive tactics to ignite dislike over someone else, disband friendships, and seek sympathy.
3) Hysterical behavior -- Evading confrontation and consequences of actions by throwing hysterics or doing something drastic to divert people's attention.
4.) Plays the victim -- Pretending to be the victim of a situation; using sympathy as a barrier to the truth.
5) Always ill -- Claiming to be always ill to gain attention and seek sympathy.
While our history can't be erased, I have made peace knowing that people change and grow. I will always be proud of how I handled my bully: with kindness, compassion, and understanding even when the situation did not favor my side, because I understood that behind it all, it was love, attention, and self-assurance that she yearned for - three things I never lacked in life.
I may have been bullied, but I never regarded myself as the victim. Instead, I took the years of her bullying as an opportunity to better myself and identify real friends. Her bullying didn't break me. It made me stronger and better instead, and it widened my perception of mental health which I plan to write more about to encourage mental health awareness -- my own way of making the world a better place.