(My sharing on the second station of the cross)
I WISH I could say that after a three-day silent retreat, I am transformed. The reality is, since coming out of the retreat in early July, I became more aware of my daily shortcomings. But then I guess, this could be good. The more I know how weak and sinful I am, the more I will realize my need for Christ and cling to Him.
I continue to ponder upon the notes I took from the retreat, and write about them. Somehow, doing this will not only fulfill my promise to share my retreat learnings and inspirations to the readers of this column, it will also convict me to follow Jesus more closely. “If anyone wants to follow me, he has to pick up his cross daily and follow me.”
The second station, Jesus carries the cross.
An inspiration I received from Father Vic Santos’ meditation on the second station is this. We need to “embrace the cross.” We do not only carry our daily crosses in a resigned way, but carry it lovingly, the way Jesus did, at the Calvary.
Jesus suffered and died for love of us, and in obedience to God, His Father. And He never complained; except to cry out to His Father, in the garden of Gethsemane. In the end, His time with God in prayers that night, transformed and prepared Him for the inevitable events that took place afterwards.
Should we complain of our sufferings? I do not know what sufferings you must be carrying now, as you most probably don’t know mine. I believe that each one of us is carrying burdens or crosses in varying shapes and sizes. As I write this article, I am not yet done taking my antibiotics and other prescription medicines. I am still coughing a lot and my whole body aches. Still, if I look at my other bigger concerns, this is the least of my burdens. But, I am not really complaining.
I remember what my mom told us during her pre-Alzheimer days. “Don’t waste your suffering. Offer them all to God, for the special intention of a loved one.” I have followed her advice since then. Somehow, this lightens the load. This thought just struck me now. Wasn’t that what Jesus did? Offered His life, and carried the cross for love of us?
May I share another way I lighten my load of suffering, aside from my mom’s advice and asking dear friends to pray for particular intentions? I write it to God in a journal. Yes, it’s in an essence, the same as praying or talking to God. But the act of writing itself (maybe for others, typing in an iPad/laptop) becomes therapeutic for me. I don’t think God will be disappointed in us if we “complain” to Him. Didn’t Jeremiah, Job, and so many other characters in the Bible do this? God wants us to turn to Him, and tell Him what ails us or bothers us - even the littlest thing.
He wants us to seek refuge in Him. We can complain all we want to Him, not about Him. We do this because we realize who God is, and we pour our hearts out to Him knowing who we are, too. We are His beloved children and we can trust Him to do something about our burdens, or maybe give us the grace to stand amidst the trial we are faced with.
My Dearest fellow cross carriers,
If we can offer our own suffering for the benefit of a loved one, what more, God? God loved us so much, He sent His only begotten son, Jesus, to become man, to die on the cross that we may be saved. Jesus died to save us, that we may be elevated to being Beloved Children of God. It was God’s earnest desire that we, as His children will become one with Him, the Father. This is what Father Vic calls, the divine sonship or divine filiation. Jesus gave His life, that we may have eternal life with God the Father, and Him, as our brother.
Should we complain at all? If we constantly complain to our family or friends, and we become a source of irritation, a nuisance or a burden to them, sooner or later, we will lose all our friends. If we need to complain, I urge you complain to God instead. Cry out to Him and He will surely embrace you, like He embraced the cross to Calvary.
Let us resolve then to embrace our cross, and unite our sufferings with those of Christ’.
P.S. At this very moment, I am writing this PS portion of this already edited “filler” article, here at the Baguio Memorial Chapels, where the body of my beloved “no longer suffering” mother, Milagros Soriano Novales lies in state.
As a friend wrote, the Blessed Mother fetched my mother on the day of the Assumption. My family and I are forever grateful for the gift of my mom to all of us. The past two 1/2 weeks when my mother was first in the ICU for 12 days, and then at home for the next five days, surrounded by all her nine children - God has shown us how much He so loves us, through our mother.
Our family feels so blessed to have been with her on her last days. She, who has shown us how not to waste our sufferings and to embrace our crosses, has left us with more lessons, even on her deathbed. I know that we will forever keep these in our hearts.
Please pray for the repose of her soul.