Michelle: Trixy is in a serious relationship with her boyfriend. They are currently serving a charismatic group. And they are sexually active. They said they tried so hard not to but they can’t help it. She asks, “Are we going to burn in hell?” My answer, I don’t know. But this I know. Our God is forgiving as He is faithful. I do not think the question should be focused on whether or not they are going to burn in hell. The better question to ask themselves is “Why aren’t they staying true to what they are supposed to believe in?” We are all sinners but it is precisely why we have to belong and stay in a community so that we can change for the better and help not just others but ourselves to remain rooted in faith, strong in love.
DJ: I guess there are two parts of Trixy’s situation — they can’t help it and she’s troubled that they will burn in hell. I can help with the former but I am not in a position to answer the latter. I am not God. And I am just as sinful too. So who am I to judge? I remember a parable about the weeds and the wheat. The servant asked the master if they should uproot the weeds. The master told him to just allow the weeds to grow. They will only decide which ones will go to the barn or to the fire come harvest time. I used to think the weeds and the wheat are two different sets of people. What I realized eventually is both the weeds and the wheat exist inside each one of us. We each have our sins and our gifts. And just as the master allows us to grow, to be better, I guess it’s best that we focus more on that instead of deciding who should go to heaven and who should burn in hell.
M: Staying “pure” is not just a state of mind, but a state of the heart. One can think, believe, or say that one is pure but conduct one’s self otherwise. It’s one thing to tell others to do good but a different matter altogether if one cannot actually be a good example themselves. The problem today is that some no longer believe in sin. If they feel what they are doing is right, it is acceptable, even if it is not right. Times are changing and challenging our principles. Our beliefs sometimes adapt to what society dictates to our detriment in the long run. What should be done then? The dilemma to be truthful to one’s interior self bothers the mind and the heart of one who strives to remain faithful but has difficulty living in faith.
DJ: Big words, Mic. Well, if she wants to stay clear from sex, this is a decision they should make as a couple. Otherwise, they’ll still end up inviting each other to have a bite. It’ll help if they also keep away from situations that lead to that. Just like people who want to avoid desserts. Hanging out in places with the best pastries in the world might not be a good idea. The same holds true for sex. Particularly that they’ve already tasted the apple, not only once but many times. I believe it’ll be hard to keep their hands off each other if they share a hotel room or hang out in his or her apartment or they travel all by themselves. They know themselves and each other better. They should know what lightens the fire. Thus, they know what to avoid.
M: One thing I can recommend to this young couple is to go to confession and try not to sin again. The flesh is weak can always be an excuse if we do not discipline ourselves. And this does not only refer to sex but also to food and any other addiction. It is always good to call upon the Lord for help and to seek the guidance and wise counsel of elders who can help us in our struggles to live our Christian life. There is grace when we sincerely ask for forgiveness and repent. If we fall, we rise up again. And if we fall again, we do not stay down but get back up and live to fight another day until we succeed in conquering our weaknesses. There is nothing impossible under heaven. And we do not have to fear hell if we sincerely do something to change our ways.
DJ: A few weeks ago, someone emailed us with quite a similar predicament. The fact that it’s bothering them, then there must be something they need to change. They’re serving actively and I have no doubt that they are good people. The more honest they are with themselves and with others, the happier they’ll be.