Mendoza: Getting past U.S. immigration is a breeze

Lathrop, California—Fourteen seasons later, I’m back. And changes I see all over. Even before I could step out of my PAL Triple 7, I got reprogrammed.

No paper. No ball pen. No nothing.

No disembarkation card. No Customs declaration. No nothing.

From my PAL seat, I go straight to the arrival area where an ATM-like machine awaits.

I insert my passport’s page containing my U.S. visa.

When the screen says “OK,” I pull out my passport.

Next, I place the four fingers of my right hand on the ATM-like machine.

“Press them fingers a bit harder, Sir,” says the Pinay aide kind enough to lend a helping hand.

Again, after the screen says “OK,” several questions appear that require you to either answer yes or no.

Like, “Are you bringing in fruits, meat, food etc.?”

After answering five nos or so, I proceed to the immigration officer’s booth.

“Good evening, Sir,” I say to him.

He stares at me, rather icily.

I handed him my passport and return-trip ticket.

“How long do you intend to stay here?” says he.

“Maybe 19 days,” says my wife.

“You aren’t sure?” says he. “Be precise.”

“We leave the U.S. after 20 days, Sir,” I say to him.

“What do you do for a living?” he asks.

“We are both journalists, Sir.”

He looks up. Gives us the eye like a surgeon checking on a patient.

He looks down. Grabs the stamp pad. And stamps our passports real quick.

“There you go, folks,” he said, handing us our passports. “Enjoy your vacation.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

You think that’s it? Wrong.

The Customs man with the nameplate, Mr. Hsu, stops us near the exit.

“Do you have a chicharon in your bags?” he asks.

“None, Sir,” I say.

“How about gulay?”

“None, too, Sir.”

“OK, then, welcome to America.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

Dondon (the nephew of my wife) and Janet arrive about 45 minutes later, delayed by a stalled vehicle on the freeway crossing the San Mateo Bridge.

After hugs and hellos, off we drive into the night. Some 30 minutes later, we feast on “In and Out” cheeseburgers for dinner. For a change, no McDos, please?

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