DAVAO

Lizada: Driving lessons

S: With so many irresponsible drivers on our roads, should we set requirements before they are able to drive?

E: “While we may be cautious and defensive in our driving, out there are maniacs who have total disregard for traffic lights, brakes and the lives of others.”


IF I had to choose here are a few qualifications some drivers must have in order to drive around in Davao.

Motorcycle drivers:

1) Must not be afraid of death

2) Must not be scared of accidents

3) Must be willing to sacrifice body parts

4) Must be fearless in taking on trucks and the like

5) Must know how to weave through traffic like drunken madmen/women

6) Must have the need for speed. (One night while I was about to turn, this driver just zoomed right in front of me in total disregard.)

7) Must be experts in cutting, appearing suddenly from nowhere

8) Must have the talent for occupying parking spaces intended for bigger vehicles

9) Must have absolutely no concept of space.

Truck drivers (all trucks and vans included):

1) Must have the “because I am big, I can drive like hell” attitude

2) Must dislike motorcycle drivers

3) Must dislike all other drivers

4) Must not understand the courtesy of giving way because (refer to number one)

5) Must have the “I can change lanes anytime and God help you if you stand in my way” attitude

6) Must have a partner who hangs his feet outside the window

7) Must have the awesome talent of having a flat tire in the most inconvenient of places

8) Must not know what brakes are for

Taxi drivers:

1) Must have a death wish

2) Must have the need for speed

3) Must not know what brakes are for

4) Must have disdain for motorcycle drivers

5) Must have contempt for traffic rules and regulations

6) Must know the longest route from one place to another. (One time while coming home from Manila, I took a taxi and when I told the driver Lanang, he suggested we pass through Panacan. I told him I probably could suggest three other routes closer to Lanang having lived my whole life here.)

7) Must have GMRC (I really miss the taxi drivers of yesteryears, they were kind and courteous and they did not hustle you.)

8) Must know what traffic lights mean

Tricycle drivers:

Please refer to motorcycle drivers.

Armored car drivers:

Please refer to truck drivers.

I will get to the private cars later because there is a space limit in our articles. I suspect I would exceed my limit if I started writing about private drivers. In the meantime please be careful driving because here are a lot of “kamote” drivers out there. While we may be cautious and defensive in our driving, out there are maniacs who have total disregard for traffic lights, brakes and the lives of others.

Ingat.


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