IT is an all too familiar feeling—you’re fresh off college and the real world is right in front of you. There’s so much to do and achieve and so much to learn and discover. And at the same time, there are still so many more places to see, so many things to try, so many parties to attend—yet the hours of the day remain as they have always been.
As we like to say it nowadays, the fear of missing out is real.
And instead of charging forward, twenty-somethings often freeze and struggle with anxiety. We just feel overwhelmed with all the responsibilities that sometimes even having “fun” feels like a task. We have to excel at work while maintaining a good social life. We have to manage personal finances and take care of ourselves. There are so many new things happening all at once. Sometimes, these feel too much. Most days just fill up with this knot in our stomachs we call despair and we feel heavier.
What started out as a world of possibilities now feels like a dead-end, a sink hole of paperwork and bills to pay.
Surely, this is not the way to live one’s life. Surely your twenties is more than just feeling that your life is over before it has even truly started.
To survive your twenties, you need to “time travel.” You need to see beyond the constraints of linear time to feel okay, to feel at ease.
Here are four things to think about:
Be at peace with your present. Do not hate your milestones. They are part of the destination and they will teach you things unattainable elsewhere.
Embrace your present. This is your life right now and that’s okay. This is where you are. These are all the things that you own for now. These are the things you’ve done for now and it is okay to be here, to do what you are doing.
Just know that you are far from over. Progress, even the painfully slow, is still progress. Just keep going and experience this life—truly experience this life—not just rush through it. Celebrate every little victory, grieve every loss, deal with every setback, but always get back on track. Be at peace with your present.
Desist from comparing yourself with others. Society has given different starting points and different levels of access to resources. Instead, be proud that you have made the best of what was dealt to you by this life. You made the best of your circumstances. And if in the future, you can contribute in addressing this inequality, you will have given this world something truly worthwhile.
More importantly, know that although the cards you got may have slowed you down—and will still make things take longer—they will never limit what you can achieve. The sky is still the limit.
Be proud of your past. Give yourself credit and be proud of all the good things you’ve done. They have brought you here. So, celebrate all the grit and all the bravery you’ve mustered for those risks taken—both the ones that paid off and the ones that backfired. Celebrate every mental and emotional gymnastics that you have performed. Celebrate each moment when you defied what you thought your body could not overcome.
Moreover, forgive yourself for all the things you’ve done wrong. Forgive yourself for the moments of weakness. When possible, make amends and reparations and forgive yourself for you are still here. You may not be done. You may not have achieved your goals yet. But this is the farthest you have ever been. And this is the closest you’ve ever been to your goals. Wear your past like a badge of honor.
Lastly, fall in love with your future self. Fall in love with all the things that you will do; all the things that you’ll achieve; all the cultures and history you’ll admire; all the places you’ll go to—the countries, the museums, and the theme parks; all the food you’ll eat—the nuances of the dishes, the comforting classics and the exciting exotics; and all the clothes you will get to wear. Be very specific as you visualize your future self. Get excited about all the things you’ll give; all the people and things you’ll love; and all the things you’ll share. Fall in love with your future self.
Go live your best life. You get to decide whatever that means for you.
Every now and then, examine and plan the bigger picture, but always take it one day at a time—the joy, the crying, the toil, the party—the messy beauty of it all.
In the fewest words, surviving your twenties is about liking yourself—all past, present and future versions.