AS I was looking back to year 2019, I realized that forgiving and forgetting is never the same thing. Usually, when we committed harm or caused pain to others, and were forgiven we feel that everything has been forgotten. Yes, forgiving is a divine act of letting go of negative feelings and substantially moving on. But oftentimes, we affirm our forgiveness to others million times and then realized not forgetting the painful experience they have caused us.
I guess, forgiving does not immediately follow forgetting. The truth is that in forgiving we just choose to relieve ourselves of the burden of being in pain and be free of hatred and not exactly forgetting the names of those who caused us pain. We may communicate to that person occasionally, accept his or her invitation or join them in conferences and seminars. But there will always be that guarding thoughts to be careful because that person might hurt you once more. And then again, memories will come back to remind you of the pain.
Yes, forgiving makes us stronger and resilient but the hard truth is that there are some life encounters that we can never assign to oblivion, and some pains we can never simply rub away. It is funny to say “okay na ako, nakalimutan ko na ang lahat ng pait at sakit”, because the fact that you have made mention about bitterness and pain, simply means that the picture of pain remains.
I guess we forgive because forgiveness is divine, and it sets us free from the bondage of not forgiving. But forgetting 100% immediately after forgiving is simply impossible unless you will have an amnestic disorder or due to old age. Anyway, it is not forgetting that matters but forgiving which is undoubtedly a great virtue that God is pleased.
Ahh... I must say this, whether forgiving and forgetting may not happen at the same time or forgetting is only possible through divine miracle, one thing is sure though, forgiving is like rain that nourishes us all; drenching each one with happiness despite the angry war of life...
Let us all learn to forgive others and ourselves as forgiveness brings us closer to those who have hurt us and makes them experience the forgiveness and love of God through us that forgive them.
Happy new year everyone!