Lacson: Me to myself: It’s never too late

MAYBE, I am starting to ask myself if I am indeed suffering the so-called mid-life crisis. I am beginning to look back at my life and my decisions, and pretty much think of the “have been’s” and the “could have’s” in my life. I have to admit that at this point in my life now, I sometimes feel that there’s so much more that I could have done in my life.

As we welcome the year 2020, I want to share some helpful tips from this article entitled “15 Signs You've Hit Your Mid-Life Crisis (And What To Do About It)” written by the Forbes Coaches Council.

Christine Heuber’s advice to overcome being apathetic, the first sign of mid-life crisis is to appreciate everything that is going on in your life now. Whether it’s close to your goals and dreams, or still quite far from what you want in life, Heuber said it’s best if we “take action every day to shape your life how you want it to be. Resolutely move forward, let go and leave the past in the past. All your power is now, not yesterday or tomorrow.”

If you always feel like you don’t want to get out of bed and dread going to your work or whatever it is that you need to attend to, Laura De Carlo of Career Directors International sure says it’s a clear symptom of mid-life crisis. For this, she recommends that we “learn that skill [we] always wanted to pursue and see how it nourishes and recharges.”

iCareerSolutions’ Arno Markus said that if you feel “like you’re running on autopilot with no goal in sight can be disheartening. Don’t despair. Take this opportunity to slow down, reassess your wishes, and course correct.” It can help if we discover and reassess our real desires by reading books such as Search Inside Yourself by Chade-Meng Tan and Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

At the same time if you feel that all your plans are not working anymore and everything feels stagnant, Lizabeth Czepiel said that “when this happens, be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to change tracks and start getting curious about what will serve you best at this stage of life.”

One of the most common signs of mid-life crisis is being jealous of other’s achievements, and this, I can honestly admit to. Life coach Erica McCurdy advises us to “remember that the achievements of others are largely based on a different set of opportunities than you had and choices they made that were different than yours. Would you have made similar choices in their shoes? Time to stop thinking about someone else's future and start planning yours.”

We feel the pressure as we feel pressed of time. Time to marry, time to get promoted, time to buy our own house, time to travel around, and so many more. We feel pressured by our own deadlines, and if these do not come around when we planned them to happen, then maybe it’s best for us as well to adjust and not be too hard on ourselves for not being able to realize all our dreams.

Sheery Swift says that “as the years roll by, sometimes we are overwhelmed by the time we have left to live out our dreams and create our best life. This often results in the burning desire to “buy the car!” or “sell the house!” Usually, this is not a new decision, but rather something that we've been contemplating and envisioning for some time. Give yourself permission to change without labels!”

Mid-life crisis can make you question yourself and all the things that you have chosen to do for all these years. This gives us a feeling of confusion and being unclear of your purpose and direction. Sonia Cerezo says that “feeling confused can mean that you are no longer satisfied with what you are now doing or where you are. You may still be very good at it, but you’re not connecting how this all is helping you get where you want to go. This is the time to take a step back and reflect on where you had clarity and perhaps how you lost it. Then create a plan to help you get back to where you want to go.”

For all those who are feeling a bit down in their lives at the moment just like I am, maybe this is what we need. It’s time to step back and look at our lives, and at least be grateful for everything we have done. After all, the cliché never gets old – there is never too late a time for us to start again.

Cheers to all of us this 2020!