Michelle: “Adam” courted “Eve” since the start of the first semester. Finally, she gave her answer the night before New Year’s Day. It’s a no. Adam is helpless and having a hard time coping with rejection. Initially, it is always painful and humiliating to be rejected. Decide to move on, Adam. Sooner or later, you have to come to terms with things that are not meant to be or not yet meant to be. It’s a new year. Start afresh.
DJ: They’re both young and so, I’m not completely ruling out the possibility. Eve may just have other priorities for now. Persistence and effort are keys to success. In dating, it’s what will put him miles ahead of the pack because no one is doing it anymore. But constant exposure to something or someone unwanted can become annoying, too. Thus, I suggest for Adam to remain pleasant. He can continue hanging out with her in a group setting, But no more going out of his way to give her gifts or daily “good morning” messages. Staying affable to her only shows that he’s good to her not because he wants her but because that’s just him, a good person.
M: To me, the timing of Eve in saying no to Adam is a clear manifestation that she is definitely starting a new path without him in her life—romantically, at least. That should tell Adam that he should do the same. Hanging on to hope that things will change, will not make things easier. Let go of 2019 and go the distance in forging new plans for 2020.
DJ: Obviously avoiding him, being unresponsive to his messages or talking about other guys she’s interested in are also other indicators that it’s possibly time to let her slip through his fingers. I also don’t recommend that for Adam to dwell too much about why she said no. She already gave him her answer. No need to torture himself and make it a big waste of his time.
M: When there are closed doors, try to look for other windows of opportunities. Might it be to focus on one’s self, studies, hobbies or create better relationships with family and other friends? Do not be limited by a no. It might actually be a blessing in disguise when you do not get what you want. Because there might be something, not necessarily someone, better for you. The better part might be finding yourself and seeing that you are enough, and that you are good enough.
DJ: I understand that it’s hard to get the courage to court someone for a semester only to be told “no” in the end. It is okay for Adam to take a little bit of time to feel bad about it, but hopefully not too much time wasted doing it. If she needs space, he has to remove himself from the equation. There are many ways these days to privately get in touch with him. If she wants to, she will. Besides, courtship is not about Adam being suitable for Eve or not. He’s already good and special with or without her. Courtship is about seeing whether they can be partners in life. And if she isn’t receptive to that, then she’s likely not the girl for him.