Chacapna: ‘Baguio in my pocket’ is a myth (part one)

Half Naked

SPEAKING brutally frank, “Baguio in my pocket” will not work. One proof is the absence of efficient internet connectivity in every public school of the city, especially faculty rooms. And visiting Baguio City National High School sharpens the claim. Now, since it’s about technology and before the logic of this assertion unwraps; short humor is necessary. So, here is Bill Gate’s refined story.

Principal Molong died of a car accident at Magsaysay Red highway. He was succeeded immediately by Brenda—his left-wing and aka “scout ranger.” At the pearly gate of heaven and hell, Saint “Allan Peter, the keeper” scans the name of the principal. Then he said, “Molong, you have perfected 50 percent of both good and evil in the book of life, I cannot choose which gate to unlock, I leave that for you to decide. We cannot tour these places because of my Arthritis and I need to feed my Jolo roosters which I forgot when I went road tripping at ‘Bessang Pass’ with my friends. Anyway, you can use my tablet and Facebook account to see the appearance of these places, but don’t forget to tap the tablet’s screen.”

Then, the saint went to feed the chicken while Molong activated the tablet. Heaven appeared first with the usual pictures of angels praying, singing praises, and sharing unequaled knowledge with each other, plus trumpets blown to glorify the maker of everything. Molong dozes in a while and when he opened his eyes, a banner advertising hell appeared. With pictures of voluptuous bodies dancing at the top of a table, wines, cigarettes and exotic foods abound and visibly being impatient to finish watching the appearance of heaven; he informed the saint about his choice of going to hell. So the gate of hell opened and he crossed.

Weeks later, the saint went to visit Molong and he was not surprised to see the latter being tormented by trolls in the furnace. So Molong complained and asked the saint where the voluptuous bodies, wines, and exotic foods were. The saint replied, “that was the screen saver, I told you to tap the tablet’s screen, didn’t I?”

In technology, screen savers were invented to prevent monitors from power dissipation. Project “Baguio in my pocket” indicates the use preferably of Android phones in transacting businesses with the local government—paying cedula and real property taxes, applying for business permits, registration of properties, accessing information like geography, crime index and disaster preparedness. Android phones stretch an unlimited type of application.

But before this ambitious plan works, the city must ensure reliable and efficient communication networks anchored with knowledgeable clients. Like the screen saver in the story, sans too much spending for both investors and users are crucial. As to the knowledgeable client, there is this doubt, because no one is interested in the investment of educating users. Giving free internet connectivity or even the least interest in allocating funds in public schools for that purpose was overlooked.

To be continued...


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