“Kay ka buot bi sa iya!” (Because he/she is kind!)
This remark was delivered in such critical tone and laced with a lot of blame and sarcasm.
I wondered why is it that nowadays kindness (“buot” in Hiligaynon) seem to be viewed as weakness. It’s as if kindness has been equated with cowardice and being a doormat.
But being a doormat is not kindness as kindness does not condone abuse. This victim mentality is, in reality, a form of violence against self, a tragic way of being unkind towards your own being. Kindness, in its most authentic form, is being kind to others and most of all TO YOURSELF.
Neither is kindness a form of cowardice.
Studies show how a lot of rude and highly aggressive people are hiding a very insecure and fearful nature. Their bursts of anger are mere feverish symptoms of a deeper emotional wound they can’t quite manage. Their aggressiveness is often fueled by fears of missing out, getting behind everybody else, or trying to prove a worth when they believe there is little or none.
Reality is, it’s easier to give in to baser instincts of grabbing whatever suits your fancy and to hell with consequences. It does not take much to just react to every annoyance and irritation (this is how you develop high blood pressure and early heart problems). It’s super satisfying to the ego to know you pulled a fast one on others to get ahead in the game (this is the road to a callused conscience and to corruption).
It takes a brave person to be kind because you need a lot of courage to show empathy in the face of hostility. It requires true strength to control yourself, reign in your inner beast, and focus on gaining clarity to make an educated, rational action not just for the good of one but for all concerned. You need immense (and higher) power to hold on to your presence of mind when confronted by an overwhelming situation.
It’s acknowledging knowing that people have issues and you see through that BS. It’s just that with kindness, you know that you know better, been trained better, and can do better. It is grounded on the fact that this world has enough toxicity as it is without you adding more.
Kindness will demand more of your humanity in the midst of temptation or trial. It will ask you to go the extra mile in effort and creativity in resolving problems. It stretches your limits as it brings possibilities and transformations that no hostility can create.
In the midst of all these health issues, calamities, bullying, and personal crisis, kindness is the one thing we badly need.
Dare to be kind.