Michelle: There is nothing impossible if you set your mind to it. This is what I would say to someone who is asking for advice on how to keep oneself motivated. Our reader wrote to say that he is a key accounts officer working for one of the biggest banks in the country. He sees us both as achievers and he is curious as to how we keep ourselves motivated. How do you motivate yourself, DJ?
DJ: With age, I realized that there’s indeed wisdom on equating happiness to a mission or to a purpose, not to a person, an organization or an accomplishment. People change. Organizations evolve. Accomplishments usually have a shelf life of about three years. We become vulnerable to the highs and lows of life if we’re attaching our motivation to things that are temporary. That’s the peril also of being too caught up with success, if the focus is on adding value to ourselves. But when our significance is tied to a purpose or mission, to something bigger than we are, to something that benefits the community or matters other than just ourselves, the difference we make doesn’t change. The smile we gave to a stranger at a particular moment holds true even beyond our lifetime. The education we give to a child, for example, empowers him or her for life. Our circumstance don’t change that reality.
M: I was not an achiever when I was younger. In fact, if I could do minimal effort at less the time, I would be quite satisfied. It all changed when I went to law school. And I became even more determined to succeed when I failed a 1-unit subject (Religion, at that!) and the thought that I could be kicked out for not reaching the required grade point average. To cut the long story short, I took the same subject, aced it, graduated from law school and never took anything for granted. The thought of failure made me work harder, always remembering what my dad said “hardships should not make you bitter, but better.”
DJ: That’s true, Mic. Having a goal helps. When it’s challenging, it moves us to increase the effort. Like your experience with law school. When it’s realistic, our persistence is fueled. We know we can do it. And when it’s specific, meaning we can actually explain it to a four-year-old kid, we become more focused in achieving it. As they say, we become what we can clearly imagine.
M: We do not always succeed in everything that we do. That is why it is important to try and try again. The important thing is to never give up. Try to do better the next time around. We are all afraid of failing. That’s normal. But we should be more concerned that if we do, we will not wallow in defeat but try to get back on our feet. And the best is to kneel and pray. Nothing is impossible with God.
DJ: Ultimately, we can make every mistake, set-back, disappointment as opportunities to build our strength—emotionally, psychologically, even spiritually. Strength is crucial for us to ultimately build our capacity to keep on without falling apart, to handle adversity and continue with our lives no matter what, come what may. Our circumstance can never overtake us if our resolve to move forward is strong enough.