Lacson: The day when we gave up freedom


NOTE: This short article was conceived as I was teaching my students how to write a descriptive essay following the writing process which begins with a pre-writing activity and later on making an outline to have a well-organized written piece -- something that most writers like me leave out and tend to forget doing because we feel we're so good in writing that we don't really need to organize our thoughts anymore. I asked my students to think of a person, a place, an object, or even a feeling which they want to describe. Needing to give them an outline example to guide them in their outlining activity, I began thinking of something which they cannot possibly duplicate (students are seemingly becoming lazy nowadays that they don't exert the effort in thinking and end up copying the examples given). Instinctively, I thought of describing to them what married life is as far as I have went through for the past five years of taking that so-called vow. And aside from that, I believe all of us still have a Valentine's Day hangover. So, here goes cheesy.

Everybody dreams to have a happily-ever-after. The kind of happy ending that any woman would fantasize about after watching the many fairy tales and romantic movies from time immemorial. When we meet the person whom we truly love, we undoubtedly want to spend the rest of our life with that special someone and tie the knot. However, as blissful as it may be to be married to this person, married life obviously has its ups and downs.

Of course, we expect all good things after the wedding day. A lot of people will give up everything just to be able to find their own Mr. or Ms. Right, and those who have found the love of their life should only look forward to better things ahead. When we get married, we are given the chance to spend a meaningful life together with the person who captured our mind, heart, and soul. And there's only one thing that we should only look to growing old with that individual. We also see the blessed destiny of starting a family of our own, fulfilling God's desire for every married couple of bearing an offspring. Having children indeed gives that special bond that seals the relationship between a husband and a wife. Finally, being married gives us that fulfillment that makes us feel loved and wanted, and that we have a special purpose in our lives. The contentment and happiness definitely makes us believe that our life is meaningful in this world.

If there are good things about being married, there are downsides as well. These are the few times when we just want to wish to ourselves that we should have not married in the first place. When two people quarrel over things whether it is trivial or not, it becomes a challenge to see who's right, and who must give way and eventually say sorry. A lot of times, pride and ego get in the way in reconciling our differences, but couples surely need to kiss and make up after a fight. Secondly, the bliss of married life is coupled with its own share of problems and trials. Oftentimes, routine activities, stress and pressure from work, add the pains of raising children roughen the supposedly smooth ride along the married lane. What's the worst part of being married? It's when you realize that you still have a lot of things to do as a single person that you can't anymore because you're now hitched. It's as simple as not being able to enjoy yourself out on a fine night because you are stuck in the house to take care of the kids. Needless to say, no more freedom.

Yes, I can list a thousand more reasons to convince myself that married life brings a lot of snags. But at the end of the day, it is that feeling of knowing you're given that special chance of having someone to love and love you back and maybe even more definitely outweighs all the downsides that there is in a married life. Given a chance to choose between being single and being married, I will always prefer the happy and challenging life of being the other half which will make another person whole.


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