M: I HAVE yet to watch “Parasite,” the film that won four Academy Awards including Best Picture. In biology, we know that a parasite is an organism that lives in another organism (the host) and often harms it. It depends on its host for survival. It can be hard to realize when one is in a parasitic relationship when one is in the midst of it. There are vampires that can suck the life out of a person, like those stuck in a troubled and troubling relationship. I know someone who, after more than 25 years of marriage, decided to separate from her cheating husband. I thought the breakup was a long time coming and I wondered why she didn’t break up with him earlier on when it was clear that she was miserable.
DJ: It might be the fear of the unknown. Some people find it hard to get out when they’re stuck in a bad relationship because they’re more scared of being alone. It takes a lot of faith, discernment and good judgment for one to decide to let go. But early on, there are also signs to look out for when figuring out whether your relationship is more of a job than an actual relationship. If all you’re doing is taking care of your significant other, unconsciously falling into the habit of responding to a partner’s whims—not because they want to but because they’re afraid of the consequences if they don’t, they may be in a toxic relationship.
M: If you would find out that someone had been cheating you, what would you do? If a couple is still dating each other, the usual tendency would be to break things off. It’s harder for those who are married as there are a lot of things to consider; Children for example. Breaking up is hard to do. This is true even for those who have been constantly cheated on. There are limits to one can take. Years of neglect or abuse can take its toll. The impact of a significant other’s poor decision-making affects everyone in the family. If your energy is constantly drained by a partner’s demands, if they expect you to make their life better and their insistence on being with you at all times is suffocating, it’s time to admit it’s a parasitic relationship.
DJ: While it may be said that some men do not exactly have a good track record when it comes to faithfulness, you have to admit that there are women too, who are unfaithful. Our choices in life depend on what we believe in and hold on to. We all have the power to choose the path to take. We just have to be discerning in using such power and pray for the strength to face its consequences. A lot of the pain stems from an ego that desires to have only what it wants, how it wants it and thinks nothing of what the outside world may need. Knowing what we want is a great step toward maturity. But understanding what we do not need is just as important. Whatever life hands us, our spiritual strength is what will save us from seeking the easy answers to difficult questions.