Sunday, June 13, 2021

My favorite Covid-altered fairy tales

LITTLE Red Riding Hood was unable to visit her grandmother in the woods because her village was on enhanced community lockdown and she couldn’t get past the checkpoint. The Big Bad Wolf wisely avoided eating the grandmother because she was a senior citizen bedridden with fever.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs were considered Persons Under Monitoring because Sneezy had traveled to Italy recently. The Evil Queen was refused entry to her palace after she arrived from China with a shipment of apples.

The handsome Prince died after kissing Sleeping Beauty, who had tested positive for Covid-19 just hours before she went into a coma. Sleeping Beauty eventually recovered.

Alice never made it to Wonderland. The place was declared off limits to foreigners while authorities traced the people who had contact with the guests at the Mad Hatter’s tea party.

Ali Baba fought only with half of the Forty Thieves because social distancing was strictly observed in the thieves’ den.

Jack was able to escape down the beanstalk because the Giant, who was wearing a face mask, couldn’t smell the blood of the Englishman.

Pinocchio was never able to wear a mask because of nose issues. So it was no surprise that he was classified as a PUI – Puppet Under Investigation.


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