IT IS four o'clock in the morning and sleep has not yet visited me. I kept thinking about my goals -- most were about my deadlines that require a lot of writing. Then suddenly the faces of those who hurt me most flashed in my mind. I know I can stop it, but sad because the memories started to make me cry. Sad to realize that I can still feel the pain and few of them I couldn't even trust anymore. Then I ask myself, have I really forgiven them? Let me share my thoughts about forgiving the unforgivable.
1. We can forgive even the most unforgivable act, but not immediately the person who did us wrong. Forgiving is not forcing ourselves to like those who caused us pain. We don't need to pretend liking them. It is alright to keep a distance because forgiving the unforgivable may not eventually give us the feeling of serenity when we are near them.
2. Forgiving the unforgivable does not mean forgetting 100 percent the pain from the unforgivable act in just a snap. We are humans, whatever is our belief and status, our hearts cannot be deceived to pretend to forget pains even after years. Anger and grudges may end, but the memories of the past that accompanies pain can remain, like a deep wound, when it heals, the scars will still show.
It is so sad to be treated so unfairly, when we feel so much injustice, sometimes it will take so much time to forgive. And sad, but true, but there are times that you will still feel exactly the pain you have felt years ago, but it does not mean that you have withheld forgiveness. I guess pain can just linger, and the heart still remembers.
How I wish we can forgive and at the same time forget the unforgivable easily. I guess forgiving is easier than forgetting because forgiving I believe would only require time but forgetting would require eternity.