WHEN the pandemic "circus" came, the usual norms of social interaction went out the door as well. Acquaintances started exchanging vibe-cheeks and warm messages to know how things were holding up. Work staff, forced out of the office and onto Zoom, started conversing more often.
As the sense of shared crisis ballooned, every communication, professional or personal, became a sort of check-in. It also meant that the usual formalities had to be audited. Among them: email sign-offs.
One of the purposes of an email sign-off is to emphasize the relationship between sender and receiver. "All my love" means you're family. "Sincerely" means there's a subconscious request or "I hope you hire me." And the common relationship of everyone was evidently altered by the pandemic -- we are all in some state of emergency now and everyone knows it -- so failing to acknowledge this swerves into insensitivity.
It was clear that some would have to sit on the bench. If "cheers" sounds annoyingly cool in best seasons. It definitely is during a crisis. Do "best regards" come short to be any better? During a pandemic they do. You see? Even the most basic social nods we use are fraught these days.
Yes. God knows we have way more important issues to attend to, but it raises the question: how do we carry out this custom amidst a global meltdown? Believe it or not, this concern has made people scratch their heads at least twice a day.
Safe bets would be versions of "Stay safe," "Be well," "Thoughts and Prayers,"or "Take care." In fact, some have already been using a double up: "Take care and be well."
Some have even incorporated the reminder more subtly, with a side of privilege acknowledgement. "With clean hands and appreciation."
Though they may sound less formal, it's part of what we need now. Well wishing falls into a category of language known as a speech act. And for a speech act to work, two things must transpire: you have to mean it and it has to have the proper effect on its audience. And it achieves this may depend on whether it feels like a heartfelt sentiment or has become a cliché. If it's the latter, it can lack the force that we might want it to have in the world.
Sign offs have the power to yield beautiful effects. The key? The amount of intention is going into it. This may sound a bit hippie dippie, but the simple rule of thumb about speech acts: for it to work, you have to mean it.
As weeks go on, the rawness may continue to wane as the quarantine becomes the new normal, yet the need for sensitivity won't.
But using this verbal gesture as an opportunity might just help us get through this thing. And so: I wish that whatever you are dealing with, you are finding a way to deal and figure out.
"With clean hands and empathy..."