THE popularity of dating apps from being a hip and happening thing has reached its all-time high. And no matter how much we say “Don’t trust your quarantine feelings,” coronavirus could change dating forever—and maybe for the better.
Helen Fisher, anthropologist, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and a longtime adviser at Match.com says that “Catastrophes push us to make our next step in life.”
“That’s what they do. You may have been vaguely aware that you want or need a partner, but you’re busy at work, you’re busy with your family, you’ve got your weekends with friends, et cetera.” The need for another person is “going to be very vivid for an awful lot of people,” she added.
The primary rule that I want to emphasize about dating in the time of pandemic is we need to work with what we have and what we can.
Although it may be a little tougher for those who tend to be more reserved in allowing others to get into their personal space, it may cause better than harm for the vast majority.
As old-school as it may sound, the ‘long courtship’ prior to serious commitments (something that our parents and grandparents used to boast about) may come to life again with a slightly different face. Because serious relationships will be predicated on people’s connection in conversations rather than physical touch.
“But Pat, how about our love languages? Yes. Some would survive with words of affirmation, gifts, quality time and acts of service (in a certain degree.) But what about those who need physical presence?”
Well, human beings have the amazing capacity to adjust, adapt and negotiate on deeper levels. More so, we can perceive this as one of our ‘filtration systems and qualifiers’ for us to know if we really like a person. Would you be willing to stick around despite them not being physically present?
Human beings need human connections. And physical touch is one of the easiest ways to connect with one another. But since that’s out of the question right now, everything has to start and end with conversations.
Maybe this is the perfect time to learn the different ways that we are being loved. More so, learning to express affection in manners that don’t feel natural to us, but is necessary.
SDR is the way of the world right now, and the best thing that we can do is to embrace it. Thus, it should not halt us from loving and trying to find love.
At the end of the day, if we can show love in a time that we can’t in the way that we used to. That’s the loudest and the most resonating language we could ever utter.