Friday, August 06, 2021

Caring for our husbands

IT IS almost two months now that we are home 24 hours a day. I guess this is quite beneficial to couples because they can spend more quality time together.

My day is always busy, if not busy with work, busy with resting, as my left eye now has trouble seeing clearly. So, everyone would not want me to do things on my own. Even when going to the bathroom, they would guide me. Well, even without the pandemic, they still treated me with the utmost care for the long years, I guess.

However, I’ve seen now that I have been so self-centered, I have not thought that people surrounding me also need extra love and care.

I have realized that it was long ago since I have said I love you to my husband, Rey.

I even haven’t given him a back massage in a while now. I realized that I have been so pre-occupied with my tasks and my health that I failed to ask my husband how he is.

I always make sure I hear peoples’ cries, fears, and voices but I did not notice that I am losing touch with Rey and I just did realize last night.

He entered my room and said “Mama, I don’t feel well, I feel sick and I fear Covid”.

Immediately, I got up from the bed and replied, “I think you just need a good sleep” without even looking at his face.

I thought everything was well but when I tried to check him secretly, I saw him over the phone talking to his brother sharing about his fears.

Then, I realized I have failed as a counselor this time because I did not give importance to my husband’s cues that he needs somebody to calm him.

The experience slapped me. I knew all forms of love, but I failed to see my husband’s language of love. And although I have written so many poems, I failed to let him know I care about him more than my life. Yes, I am a writer, but I failed to write about the most important part of my life, my husband.

There are times in a relationship, priorities may change. In the beginning, full attention is given to your partner.

It seems like there are no other people in the world, except the two of you. But things may change, especially when there are children growing.

One will be pre-occupied with finding sources of income. And it is not fair to use working so hard as a form of love because money will never be equivalent to love.

So, for wives there who are in a busy world working from home, consider this as an opportunity to take everything slow.

Our husbands, although they are viewed as the “haligi ng tahanan”, cannot be as steadfast when there is no love from the “ilaw ng tahanan”.

Learn to hug your husbands because most of the time we only comfort them with words. Let us then try to begin now before it steals away the most wonderful person in our lives.


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