M: Christine is 25, a single parent and works in one of the furniture companies in Cebu. She has a one-year-old child. Her family is in Leyte, and they have no idea she already has a son. Times have been hard because of the pandemic. She needs her family’s help to raise her son. How will she break the news to them? Gently. And sooner rather than later. With the way things are going, one does not have the luxury of time to delay saying the important things and doing what needs to be done.
DJ: The pandemic is probably one of the toughest, life-changing situations this generation will probably go through. And this isn’t just a health predicament but an economic, social and human crisis too. In a tough time such as this, people generally turn to our families where we get and give support in a way that few other relationships can match. I’m glad Christine is considering asking for their help to raise her son.
M: Christine should know that nothing can be kept secret forever, and life is too short to regret what has been done. She has a year-old son. So her parents are now grandparents for a year and while they would have wanted to know that they are having a grandson a year ago, circumstances were not yet right for Christine to tell them about it. For sure she was scared and wanted to spare them the anger or embarrassment. But that is water under the bridge. She bore a son. She took care of him by herself. She managed to balance work and motherhood. That is something to be proud of.
DJ: Perhaps she can start by telling a sibling she’s closest to or her parents. They can then be her support when she tells the rest of the family. Their personalities play a part in their reaction. Some are calmer while the others can be emotional. Perhaps, there will be those who will not show how they feel at first. Thinking about what to expect can help her feel more prepared for the conversation she’s planning to have. It’s good to think ahead how she will feel and what she might do. This will also help her resist being emotional in case the conversation heads toward that direction. I also suggest that she be ready to listen to what they will say, to allow them to vent if they need to. Family is family and I’ve seen how a seemingly difficult situation ends up bringing people closer together.
M: If there is something this pandemic has made very clear to me, it is that family is very important. Because life is very uncertain, we always strive to live and love the best way we can while we still can. So, Christine, go ahead and make that call and tell your parents about your son and your situation here in Cebu. But please do not forget to ask for forgiveness as you seek their understanding and acceptance of the situation. Pray. Pray harder and pray some more. Nothing is impossible with God. All will be well.
DJ: No family is perfect. But they can also be the most selfless support we can find. They can be the soft when the world around us is hard. They can hold us up when we’re down. I wish Christine and her son all the best. May this episode strengthen their bond, and make them rediscover unconditional love, support, kindness, forgiveness, acceptance and optimism that are often found in a family. God bless!