"I WISH I could hurt you the way you hurt me. But I know that if I had the chance I wouldn't do it."
Life is often an exhilarating ride of emotions. It is a colorful array of events filled with overwhelming feelings. Some days you could be on cloud nine, some moments could be long and dreary while some days could be real scary. It's a never ending brawl with your emotions filled with unexpected surprises.
I often find myself engrossed in a thought of being happy and fulfilled all the time. Unfortunately, with all its veracity, that is not always the case. At any given moment, things would not turn out as you would expect and eventually you would get hurt along the way.
Relatively, being hurt is but just a normal feeling. In fact, it serves as a "wake up call" that encourages us to examine ourselves more. Sometimes, we wail in frustration when our efforts seemed futile and useless. We harbor grudges towards people who challenged us. We spent tedious hours over arguments and confrontations. We wallow in pain over people who we think pained us much and crushed our hearts.
That heart that hurts...those hearts that hurt. It may seem impossible to forget that heart...those hearts. Anybody can see and feel through the hurt but it takes somebody to see through the pain and value it.
We have come to accept the fact that we are wired to run from pain. It is the way we have survived, but it should not be the way we heal. Most of us do not know how to go into survival mode when we are hurt. We could run away, numb out, shrink down, or lash out in anger.
Do you have the heart for that heart that hurts? Perhaps, I could get a negative response. Accordingly, heartless people could bring your pain to the next level and could even bring out the worst among the best individuals. However, when we are hurt, have we tried looking at ourselves as the source of such pain?
Our core energy...our mental model are they in sync with what we are doing? Do we attract these heartless hearts which hurt us? Do we pull them towards us instead of pushing them away? We could have very astounding mental models but our core energy might be radiating negative ions or we could have that striking core energy, shining from within but our mental models are weak and vulnerable. In a way, we can be the source of our own heartaches and pains.
I may say I have taken a ride with such turbulent emotions and have witnessed people hurting while some have even hurt me. I have maneuvered an override of feelings as frustrations, failures and disappointments riddled me, leaving myself numb and broken. Yet through it all, I have earned the greatest lesson which gave me an ultimate reason to keep going.
Thanks for the hearts that hurt. I have finally come to terms with myself. You can't hurt a heart which knows and feels the most pain. You can't hurt a heart which is stretched way beyond its limits to give way to your punishments. You can't hurt a heart which knows no boundaries in absorbing your destructive moves. Eventually, you can't hurt this heart which endured your most powerful weapons to destroy it. You simply cannot hurt that heart.
Perhaps, it's time for you to look farther and beyond. I would like to believe that looking even further to your own self, your feelings, aspirations, your wants and desires, can be a best antidote to all your heartaches and pains.
Do not get lost in your pain cause no matter how you hurt that heart, the pain you inflict eventually comes back to you. Have you tried asking yourself "Where in your life you are your own poison?"
Do not ever get lost in your pain. Know that one day that pain will become your cure. Stop hurting that heart. It has felt and endured much. You made it stronger by your morbid thoughts. You made it even fiercer with your ulterior motives. You made that heart an invincible warrior ready to face your battles of deceit and lies.
If that heart could speak to you, with a wistful yet sly smile, it would readily whisper "Thank you for the reasons and seasons of pain. Thank you for the heart that hurts."