INFIDELITY has become normalized in our culture and society. Most married individuals I've encountered have engaged in cheating or some blatant form of deception at some point or are still habitually doing so either openly or in secrecy. And most have become numb to such acts that it sadly no longer holds much substantial weight and may even be discussed lightheartedly and jokingly in tribalistic group circles. It is a depressing realization that most of us live our lives built on lies.
While each relationship between two persons entails its unique internal dynamics and idiosyncrasies, it is mesmerizing to witness the high degree of superficial relationships around us. Perhaps the root of this is a strong fear of rejection embedded in a high sense of reluctance to be fully vulnerable that we adopt a settling mentality where the focus is on the surface form rather than the deeper roots and substantive layers.
Somehow, we cannot help but view people transactionally to keep up with the trials and tribulations the world throws at us. However, this distorts any inclination for real character growth or any meaningful encounter.
As human beings, we have our vulnerabilities and, realistically speaking, we simply want to be accepted unconditionally. But in a selfish and harsh world, that is hard to come by considering all the treacherous individuals capable of exploiting such for selfish and personal gain. This is why we face the world with our walls high up.
There can ensue a heightening cynicism in terms of assessing the depth and authenticity of most intimate relationships. Most of which seem to be built on shaky foundations that they are very much in limbo. Most of our relationships are highly performance-based, we strive hard to preserve the illusion of false intimacy we created to make ourselves feel better and appease the other to feel a strong sense of validation.
The motivating force of most relationships stems from a surface standpoint such as companionship, intense attraction, sexual chemistry and romanticism which are undoubtedly essential elements but may ultimately be insufficient in addressing the deeper meaning and sustainability of any relationship in the long run. The sacrificial aspect of love must overrule the feelings aspect.
Indeed, perhaps most of the marriages that constitute our communities are actually built on extremely lackluster grounds. There is a distortion in a paradigm where certain acts are merely tolerated and condoned that it fails to grow deeper, and fundamentally defeats the purpose of intimate relationships. Usually, when the going gets tough, there is a strong urge to escape and opt for an easy solution.
Most couples come together in union to settle and mainly inhabit a transactional and shallow approach founded on high emotions and complying with the customary expectations of survival and livelihood. The truth is, nobody wants the sacrificial and inconvenient path.
Ultimately, relationships are highly complicated and difficult considering all the crazy things we are actually capable of. It is a challenge to discern authenticity and sincerity in an evil and unpredictable world, but there is no doubt that deeper and profound relationships founded in truth are the ideal and fulfilling quest in this mysterious journey.