BAGUIO

Pawid: Your zipper is down!

Lighter Moments

EVERY now and then, men experience the uncomfortable embarrassment when in the midst of a crowd he realizes that the window to his manhood is wide open.

Such experience is agonizing when there is no way to make a graceful exit unnoticed to a secluded and safe place to close the window.

Even women run into such encounters ever since they opted to wear male pants replacing the traditional lady’s dresses.

In most instances, the person concerned does not realize his/her predicament until a friend or an acquaintance would point out the anomalous site. Fact is, this friend would suffer more in embarrassment. Yet, only a true friend would have the gall to call attention to an “open window.”

A stranger cultured with good manners and right conduct would come straight forward to call attention to the situation with a soft whisper: “sir/madam, your zipper is down.”

Expectantly, a gracious “thank you” is forthcoming. But that is not the case in some incidents. There are a good number of not-so-ethically educated Homo sapiens who would not appreciate the gesture. A general response today would be: “mind your own business” or “it’s none of your damn business.”

It is understandable as the young generation of the female population is in competition to show what they have violated innocent eyes.

Ribs that go farthest down from the navel and open blouses showing the barest of deep cleavages are common sites in and out of advanced cultures and third world populations. Recall the days of the mini-skirts when young girls were in contention on who would be the boldest to show their secrets.

Before the hippie era, a lady’s unconscious display of a chemise was a scandal. The gentlemen of that era would politely call her attention with a soft whisper: “Your secrets are showing” to avoid embarrassment.

In my stint as a journalist covering the justice beat, I attended a press conference called by a Justice of the Supreme Court. Holding a microphone, the magistrate was to announce the verdict on a sensational case before the rolling TV camera units of major television channels. It was then that I noticed the “open window.”

Before the first question was shot by the media in attendance, I approached the Justice in the guise of adjusting the microphone. And whispered: “Sir, your federal case is wide open.” In a fraction of a second, he realized the message and closed his case while I shielded him from the rolling camera units.

From that day on, I was privileged to free legal advice of the highest degree for controversial legal articles I wrote for my newspaper.

(This article was published very much earlier. Per requests of fans, here is a reprint.)


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