LAST night, I had to go to work till midnight. Aside from a few medical consultations, things were actually pretty quiet. Things are seldom this way so I felt relieved I had some "me" time at work. Covid has turned our lives upside down and to get a bit of an upper hand feels good.
I know you wonder when this will be all over. We all do. We also know it will take some time right? I do too. But like you, I expected to be used to it by now, having been working since two weeks after the lockdown in March. I expected to be used to the "new normal" and the transition into a mask-and-full-face-shield-with-or-without-PPE-kind-of-person. I expected to be "normal" and unfazed by any additional Covid horror stories told by now but I'm not. Far from it.
Seriously, this pandemic has become such a scourge! I cannot believe how it has managed to take all of us on a horrific roller coaster ride. I am in disbelief that there remains to be so such we do not know about it. The mental anguish that it builds in our heads creeps into our psyche like a thief in the night. I feel its toil, its capacity to unsheath us leaving us exposed to feelings of fear and helplessness. It is both exhausting and exasperating that it's difficult to make sense of it.
I hope you have quiet days. Days when the endless chatter about the pandemic and its effect on lives, countries and economies become nothing but distant incomprehensible babble that cannot affect you in any way. A rest for our weary selves, where we feel peaceful despite everything that's going on around us. We all need some time to spend just appreciating the good things and see life's beauty. There are days when I feel better just by closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.
I have been happy these past few days. I've been feeling good despite feeling worried and anxious about how things have become. It's quite overwhelming, that rush of gratitude and the feeling of being blessed despite the difficulties.
You learn to accept the things you cannot change and be content with your present circumstances. You learn to maneuver your way around the challenges and be thankful for what you still have and what you were able to achieve. Do I still cry and worry about things? Of course, I do! But I'm choosing to believe better things are around the bend for all of us.
I hope you find packets of happiness amidst all this chaos. We all deserve to find comfort amidst this chaos.