Cagayan De Oro
Monday, September 20, 2021

Carrasco: She Is Not You


AHH...that woman...that incredibly fabulous woman with her adorable fashion sense and taste. She is quite a head-turner in her posts. That seemingly perfect smile, perfect glowing skin and perfect proportions. Then your mind started to wander as you wonder what it would take and how much it would take to look like her.

You begin calculating the number of calories you would need to become that thin. The number of sit-ups it would take to get abs that defined. The cost of liposuction, breast enhancements, anti-wrinkle injections and even teeth whitening regimens.

Filled with inadequacy, your heart sinks. You know how much it would take to even come close to comparison; how much it would take to grasp a standard of beauty you know you will never measure up to. One you are not sure you even want to try nor measure up to.

Dear woman, you forgot.

You forgot your own distinct traits that make you different from her.

That perfect woman is not you. She is not you.

She is not the strength of your body that has brought forth life and risen above deadly encounters; battle-scarred and weary but held together with the resilience and determination of the warrior spirit that blazes beneath your bones.

She is not the complexities of your mind, the skillful and psychologically astute characterization of Shakespeare’s imagination; the intelligence, the creativity, the emotion, but also the tangled knots of questions and doubts and fears; the creases and frowns as you figure out life’s complexities with all its uncertainties.

She is not the ray of light that glimmers with the hidden mysteries of your soul. The sharp wit you carry with the rhythm of your laughter. The words of courage you fearlessly speak to those who need them. The bold moves you gallantly executed for justice and equity. The helpless tears that overflow from your heart for those you grieved and have offered sacrifices.

She is not the body whose excruciating pain she endured just to give chance for her offspring to experience life’s limitless possibilities and uncertainties. She is not that body ready to lose its fragile velvety skin to wrinkles wrought by time and experience.

She draws attention by playing coy – a damsel in distress. You create confusion by acting bold – like a “dame” in shining armor – ready to rescue anyone. She is vulnerability disguised as bravery. You are the exact opposite.

She is not you.

Perhaps they will never see that. Maybe they will never see beyond the surface of a woman’s skin; beyond that image on a screen, beyond that goddess-like image on her posts, beyond a superficial ideal, beyond an unrealistic standard of what is beautiful and not.

But maybe you deserve better anyway.

She might be beautiful. She might be the perfect embodiment of the paragons of aspiration for beauty. She might be that incredibly chiseled body adorned with the latest fads and accentuated with the best accessories. She might have that godly stature as she towers with pride and prominence in her breathtaking shots.

But she will never compare to you.

The only person who needs to see and who will ever see that is you.

You knew and fought battles she hadn’t even known. You have been there and beyond. You were lost and found your way back.

She might look strong but she doesn’t have your strength. She might exude charm but she doesn’t have your confidence. She might have that overbearing elegance but she doesn’t have your charisma. She might be bold and adventurous but she doesn’t have your courage and valor. She might know a lot but she doesn’t have your wisdom.

“She is not you.” She will never be “YOU.”


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