FOR purposes of this article, M is me and C is for checkpoint.
M: Good morning Sir.
C: Good morning po, FM Pass pls.
M: Sir, hindi man ako magbili ng Food or Medicine.
C: Saan ka pala punta?
M: Magpa check up sa sasakyan kay hard start unya adto bangko.
C: Ok, Asa ang bank book?
M. Ha?
C: Asa ang bank book nimo?
M: Nabilin sa balay sir.
C: Check book?
M: Ha? Wala koy check book dala.
C: ATM?
M: At the moment wala koy check book or bank book.
C: Dili, ATM card.
M: Ah okay, eto sir.
C: Unya asa man ka pag human bangko?
M: Magbayad ko sa bills nako sir.
C: Unsay bills nimo?
M: Water bill sir.
C: Pakita. Unsa pa?
M: Electric bill (hinay hinay gawas kay NOD na, notice of disconnection na)
C: O hala notice of disconnection na ni.
M: Ayaw syagit sir.
C: Sorry. Unsa pa bill?
M: Ah Netflix.
C: Pakita. (Pause) Kita ka na Hwarang? Gwapo sya.
M: Wala pa sir, salamat sa suggestion.
C: Naa bill na lain?
M: Wala na sir.
C: Unya og human bayad, asa ka?
M: Check up nako negosyo nako sir.
C: Pakita business permit.
M: Ha?
C: You need the business permit. Ahem, maayo man diay ko mag English.
M: I left it at home sir. (You are not the only one)
C: DTI or kung wala SEC Registration.
M: None of the above sir. Nabilin tanan.
C: Next time when you need to check up on your business, you need to bring the required and pertinent documents, is that clear? (Wow, kuyawa sa English nako uy)
M: Yes sir. Sorry sir.
C: Unya paghuman sa negosyo asa man ka? Naay ka pay adtuan?
M: Yes sir, mag simba ko? Naay ba papeles pud na sir?
C: Wala. Problema ta ani sir, how will I know na mag simba jud ka? Unsay may proof nimo?
M: Kining nawong nako sir na angelic kaayo.
C: O hala sige. Human simba asa ka?
M: Uli na ko sir kay dili nako gusto maabtan og curfew.
C: Maayo na, o hala sige, unya siguradoha lang ha.
M: Unsa sir ang siguradohon?
C: Ang Hwarang, gwapo jud. You will not regret it.
M: Salamat sir.
As I leave the checkpoint, my face mask slips down my nose and as I adjust it, I hit my face shield and it flies off my face hitting my FM Pass and my air purifier which also has my alcohol gel tied to it. I take a deep breath and stare into space.