Lizada: How To Go Out

Papas Table

FOR purposes of this article, M is me and C is for checkpoint.

M: Good morning Sir.

C: Good morning po, FM Pass pls.

M: Sir, hindi man ako magbili ng Food or Medicine.

C: Saan ka pala punta?

M: Magpa check up sa sasakyan kay hard start unya adto bangko.

C: Ok, Asa ang bank book?

M. Ha?

C: Asa ang bank book nimo?

M: Nabilin sa balay sir.

C: Check book?

M: Ha? Wala koy check book dala.


M: At the moment wala koy check book or bank book.

C: Dili, ATM card.

M: Ah okay, eto sir.

C: Unya asa man ka pag human bangko?

M: Magbayad ko sa bills nako sir.

C: Unsay bills nimo?

M: Water bill sir.

C: Pakita. Unsa pa?

M: Electric bill (hinay hinay gawas kay NOD na, notice of disconnection na)

C: O hala notice of disconnection na ni.

M: Ayaw syagit sir.

C: Sorry. Unsa pa bill?

M: Ah Netflix.

C: Pakita. (Pause) Kita ka na Hwarang? Gwapo sya.

M: Wala pa sir, salamat sa suggestion.

C: Naa bill na lain?

M: Wala na sir.

C: Unya og human bayad, asa ka?

M: Check up nako negosyo nako sir.

C: Pakita business permit.

M: Ha?

C: You need the business permit. Ahem, maayo man diay ko mag English.

M: I left it at home sir. (You are not the only one)

C: DTI or kung wala SEC Registration.

M: None of the above sir. Nabilin tanan.

C: Next time when you need to check up on your business, you need to bring the required and pertinent documents, is that clear? (Wow, kuyawa sa English nako uy)

M: Yes sir. Sorry sir.

C: Unya paghuman sa negosyo asa man ka? Naay ka pay adtuan?

M: Yes sir, mag simba ko? Naay ba papeles pud na sir?

C: Wala. Problema ta ani sir, how will I know na mag simba jud ka? Unsay may proof nimo?

M: Kining nawong nako sir na angelic kaayo.

C: O hala sige. Human simba asa ka?

M: Uli na ko sir kay dili nako gusto maabtan og curfew.

C: Maayo na, o hala sige, unya siguradoha lang ha.

M: Unsa sir ang siguradohon?

C: Ang Hwarang, gwapo jud. You will not regret it.

M: Salamat sir.

As I leave the checkpoint, my face mask slips down my nose and as I adjust it, I hit my face shield and it flies off my face hitting my FM Pass and my air purifier which also has my alcohol gel tied to it. I take a deep breath and stare into space.


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