I AM making this plea as a mother of an #ausome kid and in support of families caring for children with special needs. This is regarding the hurtful incident experienced by Mommy Mai who felt discriminated against when her son, Fin, who is on the spectrum, started squealing when they were in the swimming pool of the said resort. In her review posted on TripAdvisor, she narrated:
"The plan to swim the whole morning came to a halt. I asked Fin if we could go back to the room because we weren’t allowed to squeal and be merry the special way. It’s a discriminating experience. We often get this a lot. When normal people who are ignorant of people with special needs, give us that stare of please control your child."
As I was reading this, my heart broke into pieces and I wanted to cry aloud in a bid to empathize with her. While I have not experienced that kind of shaming, I suddenly felt like experiencing it firsthand and thinking about what I should do if this happens to me and my son.
The discrimination did not stop there. As the family felt the money they paid to relax and enjoy a family vacation has been literally been put to waste because of the incident, resident shareholder, Manny Gonzalez, responded to the TripAdvisor review in the most distasteful and unprofessional way possible.
Firstly, this Manny Gonzalez has the nerve to assume that he knows what the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is by saying that "uncontrolled shouting is not a symptom of autism. On the contrary, autistic children tend to be silent, non-verbal and overwhelmed and withdrawn when faced with strangers. In fact, it is regrettably true that an autistic child will not be happy in any public situation where they are faced with many unfamiliar people and surroundings. Google ‘Autism’ and verify this for yourself."
As in, WTF? I swear, I will not apologize for my cursing here because seriously? What does he really know about ASD? Does he even know how it feels like to be on the spectrum? He is in no effing position to say something like this about the disorder because he is not a developmental pediatrician or even a medical expert on this matter. His statement is purely based on his own personal biases and his lazy habit of resorting to Google for unfamiliar things. Someone, please educate this man properly.
Secondly, this Manny Gonzalez further proved he is the delusional one by accusing the mother of being a negligent parent. He said:
"Therefore this parent is most likely deliberately lying, or has been given an incorrect diagnosis of autism, when what the child more likely has is a lack of discipline due to simple parental neglect. Children scream because they hope to attract the attention of parents who customarily ignore them, or because they hear screaming between their parents at home. If their parents would pay attention to them, and would refrain from screaming at each other, there would be no need for the child to scream. In our experience, one word from a responsible parent is enough to make a child quiet down."
With this argument, I wanted to take the fastest route possible and meet this Manny Gonzalez face to face and give him the beating that he deserves. Speaking on behalf of parents with special needs, I say this: no one from us ever wished to have a child with this disorder. It is not even an illness that can be cured over time; it is a lifelong condition that we have to deal with EVERY single day of our lives. And to tell you the truth, our biggest fear is not of dying. It is leaving our children behind with no one to truly understand and care for them without any discrimination and hesitance.
The Autism Society of the Philippines, on its website and Facebook page, wrote:
"This sad event is an opportunity for disability sensitivity training; and a review of the resort’s policies and procedures for compliance to RA (Republic Act) 7277, the Magna Carta for Persons with Disability. Beyond the public relations mess that this is (driven by an ill-crafted response), the noble men and women who serve to please their customers at the Plantation Bay Resort and Spa in Cebu can do better. Even the best-intentioned organizations can always use additional knowledge and improvements in areas they are not properly trained in. The Department of Tourism, the National Council on Disability Affairs and the Autism Society Philippines can help facilitate education in ‘invisible’ and often misunderstood disabilities.
For parents who find themselves in this situation, know that the law is on your side. Escalating the matter to top management is the best way to amicably resolve your issues and to teach the organization what accommodations are needed by guests who manifest their disability uniquely. Very often, top management responds with kindness and compassion.
If the issue is not resolved, you may file a civil case in court or with the Commission on Human Rights for violations of the RA 7277, the Magna Carta for Persons with Disability. Please take note of names, places, events, dates, times and screenshots, to complete documentation of the incident."