ONE of the saddest experiences in the new year I guess is when a wife experiences physical pain due to arguments with her husband. I would not want to share a sad story now, but I just feel that couples will learn if I share. I remember that last year, January 2, 2020 to be exact, I had a patient for counseling after a verbal fight with her husband that ended with the husband throwing a hard object on her head.
I feel how devastated the wife was and what is worse is that the husband did not ask forgiveness after but instead played an online game on his phone.
As a woman, I would understand that verbal insults can sometimes happen due to uncontrolled anger and it can happen even if it is a new year, a time to celebrate. Yes, couples do fight once, twice, or several times in a year but we hope it doesn't reach the point of verbal and physical abuse.
I think men are stronger than women. I may say that if they punch, it may be harder than women's punch. So, even if she fights back, the physical injury might be more severe for her. If throwing things anywhere inside the house to express anger can damage valuable things, what is then the extent of the damage if the husband throws objects to the wife?
And sadly, even though he sees the wife crying expressing pain, after throwing a hard object on her head, another punch on her head follows.. All of these, I guess, are hard to forget. That is why women can still remember fresh in their minds and hearts how painful it was -- the painful experience is embedded in their psyche.
I pity wives that suffer in silence because they would want to appear they are taken care of by their husbands. I am sorry to say but no matter how the husband takes care of the wife when he's not angry could not cover up for the physical abuse even if it happens once or twice in a year. Once hands are used not to comfort but to slap or hit, the hands would always remind of the abuse. Also, when kids see their mothers in pain, fathers can feel remorse and make amends. But if one continues -- then he should check his sanity.
So, for husbands out there, remember that verbal abuse and physical pain infliction is totally a violation of your wives' soul. Everyone can commit a mistake, but to play with your phone without remorse after hitting hard a wife, is awfully unacceptable!
And for wives out there crying in silence, remember too that abusive relationships are never the key to the chambers of the heart for you to live together. Remember that husbands are not abusive because they got angry, but they got angry because they are abusive.
For all wives and husbands out there, please do not start your new year with a punch, kick, or slap from your spouse who cannot control their anger in an argument. It is true that if your spouse had already inflicted pain on you -- he or she can never respect you all over again.
Love your spouse as you love your children!
Happy New Year to everyone!