I HAVE not experienced the pain of losing someone very close to me until my mom bid farewell to this world last week. I felt I lost the rock of my life in her that while she was still confined at the hospital, it seemed I would die ahead due to depression.
I tried to recall the things that brought me to become closer to my mom. I was led to remember her telling me “her world revolves around me.” It doesn’t make sense at first but I was surprised that while she’s fighting to survive the pneumonia and urinary infection, I realized I wasn’t ready to accept if something happens to her. In short, my world also revolves around her.
My mom, Teresita, died at the age of 83. She got me when she was 41 and left as a widow after my father died when I was in Grade 5. She was then made to find ways while I was still young in order for us to survive.
God led her to find work in Bacolod through the family of her friend, Mrs. Emiliana Hurna, who also agreed to let me join her as I was away in my half-brother’s place in Calumangan, Bago City.
My mom had in herself the determination to look after my welfare and ensure that my education is continued. She was convinced at that time that the only way for her to see me every day is to bring me to her workplace. The rest is history.
Even though I am already a professional working in the media and in government, in her mind she still wants to ensure that everything in me is in order.
I got to see the world inspired by her as we shared the ups and downs of life for many years. All of my achievements and failures may have its traces in our togetherness. Yet, she had minimal ambitions in life and that is to simply see me realize my definition of success.
As she gave her wishes on her 81st birthday, she continued to speak about things that ended to imply a plea from God to help me and guide me in all of my endeavors. She also doesn’t care if she dies ahead as long as I am given a longer life.
I think I have nothing to ask for more for my mom and the life she wished for me. Her only desire then was for me to finish high school education which is her note to achieve quality life. As her son, she got to take the stage every year to pin my ribbons in elementary and high school. That continued when I received awards in college until the fulfillment of my master’s and doctorate degrees. When we both look at the divine provisions, we agree that God has given us more than we think early on in life.
My mom never thought she would be blessed with a long life. She told me that she did not desire to reach her long life as much as 80 years old. In fact, she was still strong when she was 81, and had it not been for pneumonia and UTI who sneaked into her health, she would have remained an entertainer inside our home.
In the least thought, mom played a role in my overall state. Whether I take it as a success, failure or whatever turns life has created, she has contributed much into it.
I noted that in her lifetime, it is only me that means to her and her love expressed in what she’d worked for in years up to the time of her death.
I reflected on all of these things and accepted that her death is real and physically, she could not be with me at all. Yet, it leaves a message that I should view things and approach them one by one in attribution to what mother’s love means to me and to the people I deal with.
As part of my response during the neurological service, Ï said “mom would remain my life’s inspiration.” Her love and concern for me, will remain as my tool to see the brighter side of life and to keep life going.
Thanks to all who joined me and expressed their sympathy and prayers at a time when mom was confined at the hospital until she was brought to her resting place at the Rose Lawns Memorial Park. I could not name all of you, but from the bottom of my heart, I am truly grateful.