WHEN I had throat itchiness and dry cough last Monday, I opted to self-quarantine even without the other usual Covid-19 symptoms. I was worried that my family would also exhibit the same symptoms.
For the past 10 days, I stayed inside my room alone. I ate all my meals, did online classes, computed grades, wrote, and slept without leaving my room. Whenever I need something, my husband Rey places it outside my door. Rey, my eldest daughter, and I are fully-vaccinated already with booster dose but we’re extra careful because our youngest, Macoy, who is still 11 years old is not yet vaccinated.
While in self-quarantine, I keep on having negative thoughts. I became worried with what I’m feeling with my body. There were sleep disturbances because of my leg pain and breathing problems. If this is real Covid and I have complications, how will my loved ones handle it?
I tried to plan what needs to be done should I leave my family unexpectedly. It felt like the world would be ending soon for me. I cannot hold my kids’ hands or embrace them – which would supposedly make me feel better. Also, I do not tell anyone exactly how it affects me because I do not want others to worry. But the thing is I am afraid but I have to be strong. I felt alone but I pretended I was enjoying my solitude. I was crying inside but I managed to smile still.
Sometimes, people must pretend they are okay because they would not like others to be worried about them. It is also a form of great love -- not bothering others because they know they have their own distressing worries. Some people would not like to share their pain during difficult situations and would be ready to open up once they have healed from the pain.
In all of these, whether we hide or unhide what we feel amid the pandemic, it is still bound to affect us and our families. The nature of the virus remains unpredictable; the same as how people feel about it. We also have unpredictable feelings about the pandemic resulting in uncertainty. Thereby, some opt to pretend well, hide the illness, or deny acquiring it.
By the way, I tested negative for Covid-19!