It’s 2022 and it’s still hard to be a woman—hard because while many strides for parity have been made, gender bias still exists. When women don’t subscribe to societal expectations, they’re still scorned and shamed. And the world doesn’t even blink.
When I was young, I could not understand how single women who were pregnant could be dismissed from their jobs for immorality while the men who fathered their children, whether single or married, remained untouched.
But I was alone in my disbelief. This patriarchal concept of right and wrong was so ingrained in the boomer generation, it took us decades to unpack this mindless groupthink that bound us since birth.
Institutions have the right to establish a moral code just as society does through social convention. But the same moral code should be applied to all, regardless of gender.
And while much has changed in the last four decades, the ungendered moral code I had hoped to see by now still eludes us today.
But we, women, have always known that life would be harder for us.
Our parents warned us about all the dangers we’d face if we attracted too much attention—if we dressed improperly, acted inappropriately or spoke unrestrained. Are sons ever issued these warnings? Or are they told to grow balls and raised on toxic masculinity?
How many times have I heard parents say that sons are better than daughters because daughters are difficult to raise? They just face too many dangers. But have parents ever thought about who they’re protecting their daughters from?
Could it be from the sons welcomed into this world with great pride and joy? Do we warn our sons about toxic masculinity? Do we teach them about respect for boundaries? Do we teach them consent, decency and responsibility?
We teach our daughters to defend themselves from attack but do we teach our sons NOT to attack? We teach our daughters to hold back. Do we teach our sons the same? And why not?
Why is it only a woman’s responsibility to keep herself safe when she walks alone at night? Why is it not also a man’s responsibility to make sure a woman can walk alone at night, safely?
Why must a woman bear the emotional and sexual responsibility of a relationship, alone? Society is transfixed on fulfilling men’s needs, it completely ignores the needs of women. Where there are two people in a relationship, each must share in the responsibility for keeping it alive, healthy and thriving.
Moneyed men are magnets to women, moneyed women, targets of con men. Successful men attract women. Successful women emasculate men. Strong, capable and assertive men are seen as leaders, strong, capable and assertive women, disruptors.
A Dad bod can be cute. A Mom bod? Social and sexual suicide. Women can’t age—and this is still the greatest gender bias of all.